Blooming All Around

The late afternoon sun poked through the stone lattice of the verandah, creating bouquets of light on the wooden table.  Shelagh traced one of the irregular flowers and sighed. She lifted her teacup to her lips and hastily put in back in distaste.  

“You practically begged Patrick to take the children out so you could have an afternoon’s peace, and all you’ve done is moan about how lonely you are,” she muttered to herself.  

It was true, she had made all sorts of hints to her husband that he should have an afternoon with the children all to himself.  She had even prided herself on how subtle she was. At least, she thought she was subtle. As Tim fled to a cricket match with his chums, he drawled, “Nice one, Mum.  Mentioning how Sergeant Noakes takes the children to the zoo every Saturday instead of watching the games all afternoon was inspired psychological manipulation.”

“Hush, now,” she warned, as he escaped up the lavender-scented path, “or I’ll say something about how helpful Reggie is to Mr. and Mrs. Buckle!”

She turned back to the children running about the kitchen.  “Alright then, girls, spit spot!”

“Spit spot,” Angela and May giggled back to her.  Mary Poppins was their current favorite bedtime read, and the silly phrase, as well as a gallery of chalk drawings on the patio and drive, were a testament to its appeal for the little girls.  

Patrick bounded down the last of the stairs, Teddy aloft in his arms.  “Well, then, ladies, shall we take this little man out for the afternoon?”

More giggles followed.  “Teddy’s not a man, Daddy,” Angela chortled.  “He’s a boy!”

“He’s a boy!”  parrotted May, and she tugged lightly on Teddy’s little shoe.

Shelagh shook her head in mock annoyance.  “Well, this little man-boy is going to run Daddy off his feet if we don’t get him into his pushchair.  Girls, be sure to be Daddy’s helpers this afternoon!”

***

Four hours later, Shelagh was tired of the quiet.  She missed the laughter and noise of three little ones, and even the cacophony blaring on Tim’s record player.  Her solitary childhood had passed so seamlessly into the silence of the religious life that she never expected that her own peace would require the commotion of a happy family.  Without them about, she felt lonely.

Her teacup rattled in its saucer as she crossed to the kitchen sink.  Another glance at the clock brought the little crease between her brows.  “Where on earth could they be? Teddy will be a bear without his nap!” Even the family joke, unconsciously spoken, did not make her smile.

The front door swung open,and the silence was gone.  Angela and May ran in ahead of their father, laughing so that their words were a confused jumble.  Patrick came in behind them, a cheery Teddy eager to be released to run around the house after the little girls.  

Shelagh couldn’t help smiling, her eyes catching it all.  “I missed you! What have you been up to?”

Angela bounced on her toes.  “Mummy, Mummy, we’ve been to the cinema!  We had choc ices and Daddy let us each have a lolly and oh, Mummy!! You’ll never guess what we saw!”

As Angela’s words tumbled out of her, Shelagh felt a sting of tears.  Always so quiet, Angela had become much less shy in the months since May had joined their family, and Shelagh worried, not for the first time, that if May did leave them, after all, it would be Angela that felt the parting the keenest.  She twirled a pigtail in her fingers.

“I can hardly imagine, Angel girl,” she responded, her throat tight.

“Mummy, we went to see–” the little girl paused for effect, and then turned to let May finish.

“Mary Poppins!” May squealed.

Shelagh looked up at her husband, shocked.  “Mary Poppins! But it’s not set to run ‘til Christmas!”

Patrick scooped Teddy up just before the tot pulled the model ship down from the corner cabinet.  “We were walking past the Hippodrome, on our way to the park, and the manager was outside offering tickets for  a special showing. It’s set to release in America next week, and Disney wanted to get promotional stills of English children enjoying the film.  You don’t mind, do you?” he asked, concern furrowing his brow.

Shelagh thought of the nights reading the story aloud to the girls, and for a moment felt a pang of jealousy.  She had been looking forward to seeing the movie with the family at Christmas.

“Mamma,” Teddy stretched out, and Shelagh took him in her arms and buried her face in his curls, using the moment to master her feelings.

“Teddy slept through nearly the whole picture,”  Patrick told her. “It couldn’t have worked out better.”

Shelagh swallowed the lump in her throat.  It was good for Patrick to build special memories for the children on his own.  There’s be plenty of films and family days ahead. She was completely certain, however, that she wasn’t likely to send them off again for quite some time.

“Mary Poppins was just like you, Mummy!”  Angela announced.

“How so?”  Shelagh was already beginning to feel better.

“She was pretty…”. May interjected.

“And clever, and she sang all the time!”

“I love Mary Poppins!” May crowed.

“Oh dear, I’m afraid I might have some competition!  Well, then, what was everyone’s favourite song?” she asked.

Patrick’s eyes lit up with mischief.  “We were hoping you’d ask that! The music was wonderful, Shelagh, you’ll want the record, but there was one song we all loved the most.”  He winked at the girls. “We practiced it all the way home. Ready?”

Two pigtailed heads bobbed in the air in response.  “We changed some of the words, but I don’t think you’ll mind,” Patrick teased.

“Oh!! It’s a (come on, then girls!)…”

The girls joined his chorus, skipping words to laugh, but Patrick forged on.

“Oh, it’s a Jolly Holiday with Mummy!

Mummy makes your heart so light!

When the la la lala lala la la (I can’t remember all of it, he whispered)

Lala la la la la la

Oh, when Mummy takes your hand, you feel so grand,”. Patrick lifted her fingers to his lips, the rested them against his heart.

“Your heart starts beating like a big brass band!

Oh it’s a jolly holiday with Mummy,

No wonder that it’s Mummy that we love!!”

Tim walked in a moment later to peaks of laughter.  “What did I miss?”

***

In the evening, as they stood watching the littles settle to sleep after hours of singing their new favorite song, Patrick slid an arm about Shelagh’s waist and pulled her close.  She tucked her head under his chin and warned, “There’s an excellent chance they’ll be wanting a tea party on the ceiling tomorrow, dearest.”

He pressed a kiss to her shining hair, then tugged her around into his arms.  “We’ll all go again at Christmas, Shelagh, as a family.” He frowned as a shadow passed over her face.  “No matter where she is, Shelagh, May will always be part of our family.”

Shelagh sighed and pressed her palm to his cheek.  She stroked the roughened skin there and smiled tenderly.  Ever a quick study, she sang softly, “No wonder that it’s Patrick that I love!”


Happy Birthday to FourteenTeaups, a good friend who is mildly obsessed with Mary Poppins, but wildly obsessed with Call the Midwife.

Cricket in the Morning

I wrote this bit of fluff for Tumblr last June (2018) and forgot to post it here.  In an effort to assist those who require a full catalog of my obsession, I am now correcting that error.

That being said, here’s some kettle-y Turnadette fluff. Not quite 4 kettles “as written by me,” but as many as you want “as read by you.”

And yeah. It’s got cricket in it. So, sue me.  I don’t choose the fic, the fic chooses me.

Do not blame me that there is no image to go with this fic.  If TPTB had any compassion for my pain, they would remedy that and have Patrick decked out in cricket whites.


She tilts her face to the sun, warmth filtering through her body.  There are birds somewhere, just close enough to tease her with their song, and she opens her eyes.  All around her is green, lush and fertile, and she wonders where she is.

Footsteps softened by the turf draw her attention and she turns to see him walking towards her across the cricket pitch.

He is tall and lean, and looks relaxed in his cricket whites. He stops before her and settles on the faded quilt.  She knows somehow that they are alone, or she must know, because she doesn’t hesitate.

She stretches up on her knees and places a languid kiss against his lips, slow and teasing, her arms wrapped tightly about his shoulders.  She presses her lips to the length of throat bared by his open collar, flicking her tongue to taste his skin. He moans deep in his chest and she smiles as she nips at the sinew of his neck.

Her hands trace the fine woolen cables of his jumper, then slip to the hem and with a swift motion she pulls it over his head.  His shirt comes away from the smart white trousers and she must feel his skin there.  Beneath her palms, the skin of his midriff is smooth and she wants more.

Their lips meet again, soft and wet and she lightly strokes her tongue into his mouth.  She loves the velvety feel of it against his. Desire fires up between her legs, and she moves to straddle him, reveling in the hardness pressed against her.  She needs him now.

That’s my favorite alarm clock,” he whispers.

Startled, she opens her eyes.  She’s pressed to his side, her leg across his, the sheets a tangle about them.

“What were you dreaming of this morning?”  His hand is on her hip, tugging the thin fabric to reveal the silky skin of her legs.

She’s embarrassed, and pulls away to lie on her back.  “Don’t tease, Patrick.”

He laughs.  “You’re one to talk, my love!”  He presses the hard evidence of his morning desire against her hip.  Back and forth, he trails his fingertips across the tops of her thighs, each stroke edging closer to the warm triangle between them.  “What were you dreaming of this morning,” he repeats. His voice is husky.

She shakes her head, trying to resist, trying to shake off the dream.  He reaches his goal and applies light pressure as his fingers curve against her. “Tell me,” he whispers.

Her back arches as her eyelids flutter closed.  She sighs. “The same one.” The whisper escapes on a breath.

He smiles smugly, and rewards her with the attentions of his long finger.  “Cricket?” A second finger joins the first and he strokes the soft skin there.  “You do love me in my cricket whites.”

Breathless, she cannot answer.

 

Buttoned Up

@ILoveMushyStuff hinted pretty strongly on Tumblr that she’s like to see a fic inspired by this blouse Shelagh wore in s8e3, and considering how much I owe Mushy for all her kindnesses and posts, I jumped at the chance.

It’s a pretty blouse, as you can see, but it’s the buttons down the back that provoked this little bit of fluff. (I can’t get a decent screen shot of that angle, but here’s a pic you’ll like of pretty Shelagh!)Screen Shot 2019-02-03 at 6.34.05 PM


Shelagh huffed and blew a stray lock of hair out of her eyes.  “Ridiculous blouse,” she muttered. She dropped her arms and glared over her shoulder at the reflection in the dressing mirror.

“That’s a face that’ll scare the children,” Patrick warned as he came to stand behind her, his hands deftly knotting his tie.

“You’re not helping!”  She raised her arms over her head, nearly knocking his chin as she tried to reach her back.  “Oh, bother!”

“Why don’t you simply put on another blouse?”

She dropped her arms again in defeat.  “They all need ironing, and there’s no time.”
“You could ask me, you know,” Patrick tried to hide his grin.  

Shelagh rolled her eyes.  “I’d be better off asking Angela.”  

He clutched at his heart dramatically.  “I’m wounded.”

“Wounded, my granny.  I need to put this blouse on me, not on the floor beside the bed.”

He laughed.  “Alright, turn around.  I’ll try to restrain myself.”

He moved close and smoothed her hair over the nape of her neck, his breath caressing the smooth skin there.  “Not so many buttons,” he murmured, trailing his fingers along the opening and coming to a stop at the bottom button.  “One.”

He stroked his thumb against the silky slip she wore underneath and moved to the second.  “Two.”

Shelagh sighed.

The third button hovered over the clasp of her bra.  Somehow, a finger slipped beneath the strap and stroked the skin there.  “Three.”

This time, it was Patrick that exhaled deeply.

His hands were not quite as sure as he reached the fourth button. He lingered there for a long moment and stared at the small triangle of pale skin above it.  Swallowing thickly, he fumbled but threaded the enameled green disk. “That’s five.”

Shelagh stood stock still, wondering which she wanted more:  for him to finish, or for him not to finish.  When his hands came to rest on her shoulders, she leant back ever so slightly against him.  Long fingers slid under the neckline and caressed her collarbone as his thumbs stroked the back of her neck.  Any thought of resisting him flew from her head and she relaxed against him.

“And that’s me finished”  In an instant, he had the sixth and final button fastened.  With a avuncular squeeze of her shoulders, he turned to leave the bedroom.  At the door he stopped and looked back, a mischievous grin on his face. “No blouse on the floor, then?”

Shelagh turned to face him squarely.  “Well, not now, anyway. But I rather think you’ll be home early tonight.”

 

Reader, he was.

 

How the Brownies Saved Christmas

IMG-0245Go ahead.  Take a peek.

No, it’s not rude, the family have all gone out for the day, they won’t even know you were here.

The Brownies, on the other hand, might have something to say…..


 

“Fergus! You’re not to be doin’ tha’!  She dinnae ask!” a tiny voice hissed through the air.  

“Ach, ne’er ye mind, ‘tis a wee pot, naught to get yerself up in a lather!”  The gruff voice that answered.

High above the kitchen, the air above a cupboard shimmered, revealing a tiny figure—human-like, but not quite.  Not quite three inches tall, the creature more closely resembled the drawing of an imaginative child than a real person.  Thin and wiry, with a large head covered by a thatch of coarse brown hair and long narrow feet and hands, the creature glared down at the kitchen sink.

Another shimmer of light, and another figure became visible. Stout and sturdier of build than the first, this creature bent over scrubbing a pot.  

“Scorched porridge is nae to be ignored, ye know tha’, Aggie. And I’m nearly done.”

The stout elf straightened and clambered up the edge of the basin.  Behind him, the scorched porridge continued to disappear from the enameled pot.  

“She left it to soak!  She’ll clean it when she gets home!”  Aggie’s voice grew more agitated. “You know the rules, Fergus.  She has to ask for help.”

Fergus sighed. “I know, lass, but the stubborn wifey ne’er does.  A list as long as that boy’s arm, and she ne’er once calls on the Brownies to make quick work of it all.”

Aggie appeared at his side, and put a long fingered hand on his rough-hewn tunic.  “I know, dearie. But if the Grand Council found out we’d been using our magic withou’ invitation, they’d be sending us off to some noisy place where there humans never leave more’n a moment.  I thought ye liked the quiet here during the day.”

“I do, but a few tasks here or there would help keep my skills sharp.”

“You’ll just have to get used to it, Fergus.  I don’t know how she gets it all done, being human an’ all.  Her man is more help than most humans, but that’s a low bar. There’s still so much to do I don’t know how she ever sleeps, especially since the two of ‘em m…” Aggie shuddered.  “I’ll not agin make the mistake of going up to the bedrooms of an evenin’, that’s for certain.”

Fergus flicked his fingers and the pot rose in the air above the sink to settle in the empty drying rack.  “One time breaking the rules shouldn’t alert the Council, but fingers crossed we’ll spark an idea in her shiny head.”

***

Hours later, the front door opened and the still silence of the home was shattered as five Turners burst in.

“But all of them, Shelagh?” Patrick Turner trailed behind his wife, weighed down by a wriggly tot, a heavy medical bag and an unwieldy tangle of Christmas boughs.

“Patrick, we can hardly invite one or two.  Hang your coat up neatly, Angela, dear, and careful not to bend your angel wings.  Besides, it’ll be lovely having a party. This house was made for social gatherings, I said that the first time we saw it!”

Patrick sighed and released his youngest child.  “We just had a party for Angela’s birthday.  Besides, things are busy enough already.  We couldn’t possibly pull together a Christmas luncheon for over a dozen people!”

“Pish!” Shelagh scoffed.  “All a busy week needs is a good list.”  She patted her beleaguered husband’s arm.  “You’ll see, dear. Everything will run like clockwork.”

***

It seemed the clock was running a bit off at the Turner house over the next few days.  Shelagh’s To Do List, written with such care and attention to detail, seemed to grow longer each day, and each day Aggie and Fergus sat by watching helplessly.

“That bairn’ll have all the ornaments crushed under his feet if they don’t move ‘em higher,” grumbled Fergus from a high bow on the Christmas tree.

“It was torture watching ‘er doin’ the ironin’ late last night!  Any self-respectin’ brownie coulda had those linens finished in the work of a moment, and I had to watch her for two hours last night!!”  Aggie wrung her hands. “Fergus, this has got to stop!”

Shaking his head, Fergus replied, “I kno’, Aggie, I kno’.  The Council was firm upon it when I asked. No doing nothin’ on that list until she asks.”

The miserable silence went on between them for long moments, when Aggie jumped up. “The list!” She skipped down the feathery branches, her weight setting off a tiny tinkle of ornaments.  “The Council said we cannae do anything on the list, not that we couldn’t do anything to the list…”

“Ach, clever lass!”  In a bound, Fergus was beside his wife helping to push a pen across the sheet of notepaper.  “A few new items to tick off here and there…She’ll be begging for us to help in no time!”

 

***

“How on earth!” Shelagh muttered.  “Patrick, have you been adding to my To Do List?”

Patrick looked up from underneath a tangle of gift wrap and ribbons. “It’s more than my life’s worth to mess with my wife’s system, Shelagh.”  He grimaced as the roll of bright red paper tore away from the microscope he was wrapping.

“Never mind,” Shelagh said, handing him another piece of tape.  “Tim won’t mind if it’s not perfect.”

A pair of dark eyebrows shot up.  “That’s a change,” he teased. “Does this new laissez-faire attitude to wrapping mean I don’t have to put a bow on it?”

“It most certainly does not.  We have to have some standards!”  She giggled, then returned to her list.  “It’s my handwriting, of course, but I can’t recall adding these items to the list.  ‘Find Timothy’s red jumper…choir practice…laundry…’ Now why on earth would I put laundry on my to do list?”

Patrick was befuddled.  “Because there’s laundry to be done?”

“There’s always laundry to be done—no need to put it on the list!”  She struggled to hold in a yawn. “I’m starting to think maybe you were right, dear.  There’s so much to do, and as soon as I’ve finished one task, a new one appears. Oh!!  More firewood!”

Hidden by Angela’s costume hanging by the door, Fergus and Aggie nodded in excitement.

***

In the morning, the list had grown even longer.  Angela announced she’d need a photograph of the family for crafts in school, and Tim’s revising group was looking for a place to work together as the library was closing for the weekend. Patrick needed help finding his keys, and Teddy had decided that he was not happy strapped in his chair.  Getting her family out the door was proving to be more of a challenge than usual, and Shelagh was starting to show signs of weariness.  

“Why does the porridge always stick when there’s the most to do?” She grumbled.  “Oh, Patrick, can you stop at the Butcher’s on the way home? I forgot we’ll need a roast for Granny Parker’s visit on Christmas Eve.  I hope Teddy’s in a cooperative mood today, as soon as I’ve ticked off one thing, two more appear!”

***

Christmas was three days away.  Well, two days and twenty-three hours, to be precise.  On call for the past week in order to be home with the family at Christmas, Patrick had not been able to get to the butcher’s after all, nor had he been much help in making the pastry for the mince pies he so loved for the holiday feast, yet had somehow he had found the nerve to add “mistletoe” to her list.  Timothy offered some support, but his A-levels weighed heavily in him, and Shelagh did not want to add additional stress to the young man’s load.

So here she sat, exhausted and cranky, wrapping gifts in the cooling kitchen.  She stretched and let out a very in-Shelagh-like groan. “I’ll never be ready!”

She reached for the cellophane tape, but the edge had disappeared on the roll.  Running her finger nails along the surface over and over, she struggled to find the starting point without luck.  In a burst of temper, she tossed the roll at the pile of laundry that sat unfolded in the basket beside the stairs.  Immediately embarrassed, she stood and made for the teapot.

“Empty. Of course.”

She leant back against the kitchen counter and tried to regain her composure.  Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimmer just above the Christmas tree.  Instinctively, she tiptoed across the room to stand beside the brightly lit pine and peered up into the space.  There was the glimmer again!!

“Shelagh Turner, you have got to get some sleep!”  she whispered. “What’s gotten into you?” Bending down, she unplugged the fairy lights.  “There, now it was just your imagination!”

Unwilling to look back up at the place on the tree that had brought her across the room, Shelagh turned to the stairs.  “The old Scottish stories are starting to trick your eyes, Shelagh Turner. Best get to bed and start fresh in the morning.”

She looked about the chaos of the house and decided Patrick would understand.  She’d set her alarm for an hour early and straighten the mess before the children woke.  She allowed herself one last glance at the tree, then giggled.

“Well, Brownies, if you are there, have at it!”

***

The morning light of the last Sunday of Advent was weak as it snuck in between the bedroom curtains, slowly waking Shelagh.  She breathed in deeply, then woke with a start. Sitting up quickly, she tossed the covers aside and jumped from the bed. It was nearly seven! The children would wake any moment and she’d left Christmas gifts out for all to see!!  Oh, how had she forgotten to set the alarm?!!

Patrick murmured in protest as the cool air hit, and struggled to pull the covers back over himself.  “It’s too early, Shelagh, come back to bed.”

“Patrick! I’ve left everything!! You stay up here and mind the children don’t come down until I’ve handled the mess.”  She tore from the room tugging her fuzzy blue robe over her shoulders and left her slippers behind.

“Shelagh, Shelagh!” She muttered in irritation.  “You’ve taken on too much and now everyone will be disappointed—“

She came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, stunned by the sight before her.  All signs of Christmas wrapping were gone, the laundry was neatly folded in its basket (was that Tim’s red jumper on top, she wondered?), and Angela’s costume hung from a hanger neatly pressed and ready for the afternoon Nativity Play.

“Shelagh?”  Patrick came up behind her.  “Everything alright?”

Aware that her mouth was frozen in an Oh! of surprise, Shelagh struggled to regain her composure.  She turned to ask him a question, but he spoke first.

“You were busy last night!  All the gifts wrapped and hidden in the upstairs cupboard, the mince pies are done—I had one or two, I hope you don’t mind—and there must be miles of paper chains ready to be hung!”

Shelagh nodded and struggled to find words.  

“There can’t possibly be anything else to do this early.  Come back to bed, the children will be asleep for a bit longer” Patrick coaxed, his hand on her elbow, a wolfish grin on his face.  “There’s one thing we need to add to your To Do List.”

Shelagh turned back to the tree one last time as she headed up the stairs.  Yes, the glimmer was still there. “Thank you,” she whispered.

***

“Ach, no good deed goes unpunished,” Fergus groused.  “They’ll be off knockin’ boots before ye know it!”

Aggie slipped her hand in her husband’s.  “Now, Fergus, we’ll just be sure to keep down here, then, there’s still plenty to be done.  Have ye seen where they keep the good China dishes?”


Wishing you joy and peace in 2019.

 

Getting Out the Vote

I wrote this fic/civics lesson as a thank you to Nonnatuns that made voting (whenever, wherever) a priority.  Initially, it was posted with a password for them, but I have opened it up to all.   Thank you!

 

Teddy Turner was not amused.  A man liked his routine, after all, and enough was enough.  The high chair meant food, or at the very least, a wooden spoon to band on his tray.  The wall of newsprint before him was a poor substitute for a warm slice of toast to gum and his mother’s pretty smile.  Gathering all his strength, he arched his body in protest against his high chair and kicked his feet.

The newspaper rustled as a voice hushed him from behind its barrier.  “Keep your shirt on, Teddy dear. Mummy’s nearly finished, you’ll soon have your breakfast.”

Not appeased, Teddy made to fuss again when he was alerted to the sound of reinforcements on their way down the staircase.

“What’s this?”  Patrick teased. He pulled his chair up to feed the disgruntled moppet.  “Has Mummy abandoned you for the Times yet again, son?” He stifled another protest with a spoonful of pablum.  “If Sir Alec doesn’t call for an election soon, you’re going to have to learn to make your own breakfast!”

With a huff, Shelagh refolded the newspaper.  “It’s a subversion of democracy,” she snapped.  “There’s absolutely no reason why that man doesn’t call for the vote.  There’s been no confidence in this government for months now.”

“I’ve never seen you so fired up about politics, Mum,” Timothy remarked as he and Angela took their places at the table.  

Bright blue eyes flashed behind Shelagh’s glasses.  “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Timothy.  I’ve always been interested in the state of the world.” She placed the paper beside her husband’s plate and stood to pour out tea.  “Cornflakes again, Angela?”

Timothy shrugged and swallowed a gulp of tea.  “It’s just that I’ve never seen you read the paper except to clip advertisements or coupons.”

Silence cloaked the room.  Teddy leant back in his chair, his expression matching the wary look on his father’s face.  Even Angela paused, spoon halfway to her mouth.

The teapot returned to the table with a muffled thunk.  Shelagh’s voice was controlled. “Simply because I don’t discuss a topic in your presence doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion on it, Timothy.  I do exist outside this family.”

Even Tim seemed to understand he’d stepped in it.  “I know that, it’s…well…” His voice trailed off in confusion.

“I’ll have you know that I have voted in every single election since I came of age.  I’ve even canvassed for candidates.”

“Even when you were at Nonnatus?”  Timothy was incredulous.

“It’s like watching someone in quicksand,” Patrick whispered to Teddy.  The tot chewed his fingers in response.

“Certainly at Nonnatus!”  

Timothy flailed, his debate training abandoning him in the face of a superior adversary, and he resorted to vocabulary tricks.  “But—but I would have thought the nuns would be too busy with…with less temporal tasks than politics.”  

Shelagh was in no mood to encourage the teen.  “There are few things more “temporal” than tending to the sick or ailing, young man.  In order for us to take care of the community, we need support from the government. The best way to ensure that is to work is to help put those in office sympathetic to our cause.”

Shelagh stirred her tea.  “The Order of Saint Raymond Nonnatus is not a cloistered community–they strive to improve this life as well as the next.  Sister Monica Joan was a suffragette, you know. She was on the frontlines fighting for women’s right to vote.”

“I can remember the Nonnatuns coming in to the polling place back in ‘45, soon after I’d arrived in Poplar.  Like a wave of blue, determined to make a change.” Patrick smoothed margarine on a slice of toast as the natural order returned to the room.  “The Nonnatuns have the best voting attendance record of any group in Poplar, I imagine.”

Tim grabbed the lifeline, grateful for the distraction.  “Which groups don’t vote?”he asked.

Patrick lowered his brow in concentration.  “Young people. And women. The numbers are improving, I’ve heard, but—“ he shrugged in resignation.

“But young people should be voting!  We’ve got the most at stake, when you think of it!  Were the ones that will have to live with the consequences the longest.”  He slumped over his cereal.

“Yes, but many young voters aren’t engaged in the process.  They think it’s for stuffy old men.”

“That’s because it is stuffy old men.”  Shelagh sighed. “When nearly every politician looks and sounds like someone’s grandad, it’s hard to think there’s a place for others at the table.  Why, many women that do go to the polls simply vote the way their husbands tell them. It’s hardly inspiring.  Women need to see that they have their own voice, and they need to use it.”

Teddy was finished with both his breakfast and the conversation, and began to fuss.  Shelagh pushed back her chair.

“I’ve got him,” Patrick told her.  “Finish your tea.”

Shelagh watched as her husband released the boy from his confinement and sighed. “Too many women have so little support at home that there’s no time for them to think of the world beyond their door.  Im afraid the simple act of voting can be quite complicated when you’ve little ones at home.”

Teddy’s feet thundered over the kitchen floor as he ran in restless circles.  “See?” Shelagh asked. “Imagine toting a pack of children along to the polling place and then trying to concentrate on your ballot.  I’m lucky enough to have your father to help, and you, too,” her voice was warm. Her anger was gone.

“Voting is a good deal more than simply showing up, Tim,” Patrick returned to his own cooling tea.  

“I’m starting to understand that.”

“Timmy could babysit.”  Angela’s bright voice offered.

“Babysit?” Three voices answered in unison.

Without looking up from her breakfast, Angela offered a most reasonable solution.  “Timmy babysits for Teddy and me. If voting is so important, he could help the other mummies.”

“Babysit?”  Tim moaned.

Patrick chuckled,  “Civic responsibility has a price, Tim.”

Pounding feet came to a sudden stop, and with a wobble and a whoop of laughter, Teddy Turner settled next to his mother to finish his breakfast.   

***

 

Clinic was over, and as the last of the patients wandered out, the nurses began to gather in the small kitchen for a cup of tea before setting the place to rights and moving on to the next task of the day.  

“We’re lucky Sir Alec didn’t call for the vote on a clinic day,” Patrick said, leaning back against the countertop.  “This cold season is starting a bit earlier than I’d like, and closing the clinic, even for a day, could put us so far behind it’d be spring before we caught up.”

Shelagh unplugged the electric kettle and filled the teapot.  “Yes, that’s the problem with relying so entirely on one space for all our community needs.  Having the polling here makes it a tad bit easier for Timothy’s cause, however. We’ll have Fred move out all of the examination beds from the alcove and he can keep the children occupied there whilst the mothers come in to vote.”

As if summoned, the boy appeared in the doorway, haggard and rumpled from a long day of canvassing the neighborhood.  With a dramatic flourish, he dropped into a chair.

“It’s impossible!”  He bemoaned. “I’ve had dozens of mums sign up for the babysitting service, and I’ve no one to help!”

Trixie’s mouth puckered as she struggled to control a giggle.  “I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that. Surely some of your friends will help.”

Tim leaned forward to rest his chin in his hand in defeat.  “That’s what I thought. I was certain the girls I asked would help.”

“No willing conscripts?” Trixie asked.

“I wonder if you’re aware of the irony that’s on display here, Master Turner.”  Phyllis Crane looked up from her clipboard. “Exclusively asking girls to help care for children is hardly supporting your cause for women’s voting rights.”

Tim rolled his eyes.  “I know that now.  Caroline Gillespie made her opinion perfectly clear when I approached them at the bus stop this morning.  But how am I to get boys to help take care of children?”

“You seem to be rather proving my original point, Tim.”  Shelagh crossed the room to pour him some tea. “These mums you’re trying to help, they have husbands—grown men perfectly capable of caring for their own children for an hour or so while their wives go vote…or do some shopping…or even get their hair done!” She stirred her tea vigorously as she continued.  “It’s not babysitting when they’re your babies!” She harumphed.

Patrick reared back in his seat, arms wide.  “Don’t look at me!” He defended. “I’ve given the littles a bath every night this week!”

“Yes, dear.  You’re quite liberated.”  Shelagh patted his hand. “Not all mothers are as fortunate as I am.”  Mischief gleamed behind her glasses.

Trixie giggled, then grew serious.  “You’re right, Shelagh. Somehow, there’s always another chore to be done, or person to be taken care of before a woman can stop being someone’s something or other and exercise her rights as an individual.”

Timothy squirmed in his seat.

“It’s all rather casual, this male chauvinism,” Phyllis removed her glasses to study the young man more closely. “It’s not like in America, what with those officials trying to block people from voting with poll taxes or literacy tests simply because of their skin color.  There, the enemy is out in the open, the lines are drawn quite sharply. In Britain, women have had the right to vote for decades, and because of the way society discourages our participation, we’ve yet to be a force within the polls.”

Patrick spoke up.  “I wouldn’t say women are discouraged, precisely, at least not officially…”

Three sets of eyes glared at him.  

“Then how would you say it, Patrick?”  Shelaghs voice was clipped. “Our paid workers—mostly men, mind you—are given time off from their places of employment in order to participate in elections.  There are no such opportunities for women that stay home to care for others. And how many political meetings have you attended that were held at men’s-only establishments?”

“I’ve offered to take you–“

“That’s hardly the point, and you know it.  It’s the way it’s always been done, and men have come to expect it to be the way things will always be done.”  Shelagh reached out and covered his hand with her own.  “I shouldn’t be so hard on you, dear. You’ve done tremendous work to help everyone have a voice.”

A glance passed between Trixie and Phyllis, and the older nurse stiffened her spine.  “Of course, we’re all grateful for the support we receive from men like you, Doctor Turner, but we’ve moved beyond that.  It’s time for the male population to recognize theirs is not the only perspective on the world.”

Patrick swallowed thickly and nodded his understanding.  

“This is all very interesting,”  Tim’s voice broke the tension. “But none of you have told me how I’m to find help taking care of all those kids.”

Chuckles broke the tension, and the group began to break up.  “You’ll think of something, Tim,” his father assured him.

“What if I told the other—“

Patrick placed a hand in his son’s shoulder, silencing him.  “You heard the ladies, Tim.” He exhaled a quiet laugh. “Do not tell the other lads it’s a good way to meet girls.”

 

***

Shelagh stood vigil at the community center doors, a worried crease between her brows.  There was no need to check her watch, the dwindling number of voters in the open space told her there wasn’t much time.  She pressed her lips together and held in a sigh. If he was late, there was an excellent reason.

“Good evening, Mrs. Turner,” Fred Buckle ambled in, tool kit in hand.  “Heard there’s been a good turnout today. Bodes well fer change, don’t it?”

“Fingers crossed, Fred.  There’s a fresh pot of tea in the break room if you’d like.  We can’t start taking down the polling booths until after the final votes cast.”  She craned her neck to peer around the large man.

Wisely, Fred kept his own counsel.  He tugged at his ear and said, “Right, then.  You’ll know where to find me.”

A rush of cold air filled the hall, and Shelagh turned expectantly to the entrance.  A woman burst in, a toddler on her hip and two young children dragging behind her in their pajamas.

“I’ve made it, ‘aven’t I?” She puffed.  “Himself only just left for the pub. I thought he’d never get out in time for me to come!”

Shelagh nodded, her arm outstretched to usher the woman in.  “Let me take the children. We have an eager group of teenagers ready to keep an eye on the wee ones as you cast your vote.”  She took the youngest in her arms. “Now come along, children. I think we’ve still plenty of coloring books that need an artist’s attention.”

An impromptu play area occupied the alcove they used for examination beds during clinic.  “Timothy, dear,” Shelagh called over. “We’ve got some little friends for you to play with.”

Tim unbent from the task of collecting wooden blocks from the low table.  Despite his fatigue, a broad smile crossed his face, and he held out a blue one to the littlest child.  “Brilliant. You can help me build London Bridge. Teddy keeps knocking it down.” He pulled out two chairs.

“Teddy always knocks down the towers,” Angela announced.  In an effort to prove his sister wrong, the little scamp snatched a crayon from the table and scribbled on its surface.

Caroline Gillespie scooped him up.  “Come on, little man. Let’s make the tower one more time.”

Shelagh smiled.  “Thank you, dear.  You’ve been a tremendous help this afternoon.”

“My pleasure, Mrs. Turner.  Timothy May have told you, but I wasn’t…supportive of his efforts when he first told us about it.” She rolled her eyes in a way that made her feel for the girl’s parents.  “It seemed like he was only asking us girls to be babysitters! But as I passed by after school today, I watched Mr. Stacey try to climb the steps outside. He needed two men to help him manage, poor thing.  I never really considered how the world excludes so many, just with simple things like stairs.”

Teddy was impatient to get at the new block tower, and Caroline set him down again.  “Each day is a lesson, as my nan says.”

“Indeed,” Shelagh grinned at the girl’s serious tone.  “I’ll pass this little one off to you as well, if you don’t mind.  I’ll go start on clearing out the voting stalls. Angela, Mummy will be right back.”

A dozen wooden stalls lined the wall of the main room, offering privacy to voters as they filled out their ballots.  Most of the poll workers, all tired volunteers, were gathered in the break room. Shelagh paused at the ballot box table.

“You go get a cup of tea, Mr. Lewis.  It’s only two minutes to seven, I can manage any last stragglers.”  She held in another sigh. Patrick wouldn’t be voting this time around.

Her heels clipped sharply on the Lino as passed from stall to stall.  Really, she wondered to herself, how could people be so messy? She collected stray paper and gum wrappers into a bag and dropped the marking pens in a can.

At the far end, she noticed someone had written a campaign slogan on the wooden surface, a clear violation of campaign rules, but decided not to pursue the matter.  It was unlikely Mickey Mouse had much support in the House of Commons.

“Busy today?” Patrick’s husky voice startled her, and she spun around.

“Patrick! You made it!  I was so worried you’d get here past time.  Let’s get you a ballot then-“

He stopped her with an outstretched hand.  “It is past time,” he told her. “It’s just gone seven.”

She struggled to hide her disappointment.  “Oh. I’m sure it couldn’t be helped. You had a long list for rounds.”

“Yes, I did.  That’s why I stopped in right after surgery and voted then.”

Her smile was wide.  “You did! Oh, Patrick. I’m so glad!”

“I’ve only ever missed one vote, and that was during my training.  A rather large baby was reluctant to hurry his arrival. I learned then to vote as early as I could.  Besides,” his eyes were warm, “I know how important it is to you.”

Shelagh felt her cheeks flush.  Had they somehow moved farther back into the booth?  He bent, his nose close to hers, and said softly, “We should head home.”

She could not hide her dimple.  “I suppose we should. Fred might ask us to help with the take-down.”

“Mm-hmm…” Patrick murmured, tracing her downy cheek with the tip of his nose.  “Let’s get the children home and into bed. Poor Tim’s so tired, he’ll be asleep before Teddy.”  He tugged her earlobe between his teeth. “It’ll be hours before they announce any results.”

She sighed.  “Hours? I do hope they take their time.”

 

 

 

A Moment’s Peace

This fic is set soon after the Carter birth and the shared cigarette.  Thanks to my betas for making this more than I thought it could be.


Sister Bernadette cycled sluggishly through the streets, the late morning sun already hot against her back.  She was grateful the rattle of the wheels against the cobbles drowned out the rumble of her empty tummy. A late night delivery had called her from her bed out to one of the poorest of the neighborhoods Nonnatus covered, and the tea and sandwich she’d packed for sustenance through the long hours had been more needed by the young woman’s family.  It was too bad today was Tuesday. She’d have to settle for cold cereal or toast until the unsatisfying cold lunch they’d set out for themselves several hours from now.

Ahead, she saw a Lyon’s Tea House, and impulsively pulled up to the window.  The room was empty, its early morning rush over, and she felt drawn by the luxury of a quiet cup of tea made by someone else.  The emergency shilling buried at the bottom of her pocket felt heavy against her thigh, and without letting herself think, she pushed open the door.

The bell tinkled as she entered, and the proprietress called out from behind the kitchen hatch, “Mornin’, Sista’! What kin I get ya?”

“Just some tea and dry toast, if you please,” she replied, and she tried to ignore the lingering scent of bacon in the air.  There was no need to compound her transgression with gluttony.

“Just a cuppa?  Comin’ right up, Sister.  You take a seat and I’ll be wif ya in two ticks.”

True to her word, the spry old woman soon placed a steaming cup and toast before her.  “You look done in, Sister. You just put yer feet up and take a nice long break. Me morning rush is finished, but I’ve me taters to peel for me pies.  Anyfink else you need, just give a holler.”

She bustled away and Sister Bernadette released a sigh.  Sister Evangelina wouldn’t approve, but she let the thought go.  This was such a little thing. It wasn’t as if she was treating herself to dinner at the Ritz.  One cup of tea and a few pieces of bread wouldn’t hurt anyone.

The bell jangled her from her reverie, and she glanced up.

“Good morning, Sister Bernadette.”  Doctor Turner stood looking down at her.

His voice was husky, as if he’d already smoked too many cigarettes that morning, and she recognized the lines of weariness on his face.  Like her, he’d not seen his bed that night. She felt a flush rise at the thought. Since that odd delivery at the Carter’s, she’d found him too present in her thoughts, and fought for composure.

“Good morning, Doctor Turner,”  she answered, her voice cool. “Another long night with Mr. Tweedy?”  

“Yes.  There’s nothing more I can do, I’m afraid.  I’ll refer him to hospice, but my receptionist won’t be in until Thursday.  I’m not sure I’ll be near a telephone for the next day or two.”

“I shall tell Sister Julienne, Doctor.  Nonnatus House can manage that for you.”  Equanimity began to return as she focused on the administrative task.  

The café owner appeared at his side.  “Good morning, Doctor Turner, what’ll I get fer ya?”

“Oh, I wasn’t going to order anything, I just wanted to—”  he stopped, uncertain, and then a sense of resolve lifted his shoulders.  “Strong coffee, Mrs. Potter. And maybe a plate of your eggs?”

She winked.  “For you, Doc?  The world. Just sit yerself down and have a nice chat with the Sister.  It’ll be right up.”

He smiled awkwardly.  “Do you mind?” His long fingers gestured to the chair across from her.

“Of course not, please, sit.”  She didn’t mind, precisely. The poor man looked run off his feet.  Yet still she felt unnerved. His chair scraped against the floor, the sound louder than she expected.  Perhaps it was the fatigue that made her senses seem sharper?

“It must be Tuesday,” he joked as he spread his paper serviette across his lap.  He tilted his head to meet her questioning glance. “Mrs. B’s day off? I feel the same way when my housekeeper’s away. Tim and I usually end up at Capriano’s.  A good “English” any time of day—Mr. Swanson never serves anything else.  I cut back on work those days, but somehow it’s still  hard to find a moment’s peace.”

Peace.  Is that what she’d been seeking when she came into the café?  An image of the chapel flashed in her mind and she felt a stab of guilt.  She should be kneeling in prayer, not sitting across from this man.

“I suppose you have the chapel for that,” he mused.

Her eyes darted away from his, surprised he could read her thoughts.  She sipped her tea, unwilling to answer.

Mrs. Potter appeared, the plates and mug in her hands a miracle of balance.  “I had to brew fresh, and here’s a plate of eggs fer ya’, too, Sister. Yer looking peaky.  You need takin’ care of, I’m sure. No, no arguments. Eat.” Just as suddenly, she disappeared into the kitchen.

Doctor Turner handed her a fork.  “Best listen to the lady.” His grin was boyish, and for a moment she wondered what he looked like as a child.  She bit her lip to keep the curiosity at bay and did as she was told.

The eggs were warm and soft, and she closed her eyes in delight as she chewed.   “I had no idea I was so hungry,” she said. “It snuck up on me. These eggs are delicious!”

“Good,” he leant in conspiratorily and spoke softly.  “I’ve never been that impressed by Potter’s Cafe, and I have quite a low bar.  But this morning, it’s very good!”

Unable to resist, she smiled back.   The nervousness she’d felt when he arrived had dissipated, replaced by a burgeoning sense of ease.  For several minutes they ate in companionable silence, the low sounds of a popular song on the radio.  

“Marianne hated when I stopped at a café,” he said suddenly.  “She said the greasy food would make me run to fat.” He patted his midsection.  “She may have been right about that.”

Uncertain how to respond, and unwilling to glance at his knobbly jumper, she sat in silence.  Marianne Turner had not spent much time with her husband’s medical practice, busy with her own pursuits, and later, the needs of a young boy.  Sister Bernadette wondered if that had caused friction between husband and wife. Marriage was a mystery to her, she freely admitted. It was just as likely the Turners had found their own set of rules for their marriage.

“I know little of married life, of course, but I’ve seen enough with our patients to know that a wife often teases her husband out of worry.”  She tore her toast into small pieces, discarding them on her plate.

He picked up the last triangle of toast and pointed it at her, his grin returning.  “You’d be surprised how often a nun shone light on the state of my marriage, Sister.  Something about being on the outside, looking in, I suppose.”

He smiled, but she could see traces of sorrow in the lines around his eyes.  

“We were very different, Marianne and I, but we…” he put the uneaten toast down and sighed deeply. “We filled in the lonely places.”

She felt more than saw his hand clench, thumb agitating against forefinger, and she wondered when she had first noticed that symptom of his unease.  It seemed as familiar to her as his dry grin and the forelock of hair that never seemed to stay groomed. Her lungs tightened uncomfortably, silencing any words of comfort she might have uttered to soothe another’s pain.  The breathlessness pitched her into a moment of confusion, and she struggled to muster a sense of detachment.

She could not.  For years, she had been able to meet the rigorous demands of the Order, accepting her vows with joy and devotion, but in these last weeks–months, even–she chafed against them.  The rigorous training could no longer be relied upon to summon universal Christian love. She did not feel that communal connection with all. Rather, she felt a bewildering connection to this man in all his individuality.  

She forced air into her lungs and stood.  “I must go, Doctor Turner. I’ve tarried from my duties long enough, I’m afraid.  I will advise Sister Julienne of Mr. Tweedy’s condition, and we will handle the matter accordingly.”  Without looking she could see his perplexed expression. She placed a coin on the table. “Good day, Doctor.”

Her feet carried her the few steps to the door, her arms pushed the heavy door open, and she found herself in the over-bright sunshine.  The ride to Nonnatus would banish these thoughts, she told herself. Physical exercise would clear her head of these troubling thoughts and prepare her for the hours of prayer she required.  In Chapel, she would search for the sanctuary she once knew and banish her disorderly yearnings.


I was nearly finished with this fic when I was reminded by one of my betsas that I had written a coffee shop fic (of sorts) before.  That time I added the bonus of a bit of an unlikely crossover:  Parks and Recreation.  Not sure what I could possibly mean??  Think I couldn’t possibly be so insane?  Oh, friend, here’s the proof:  Wise Words.

Everything She Asks For

2018-04-12This fic begins during s6e8, as Shelagh tells Patrick her decision about her labor and delivery.  You’ll see I’ve cribbed that scene for continuity’s sake.  Obviously, the italicized first section of this story does not belong to me.  Nor does the entire world of Call the Midwife.  I’m just happy to spend time there.


Shelagh rested back on her arms as she settled into an awkward sitting position on their bed, her shod foot in his hand.  He knew this may not be quite comfortable, but it was certainly better than taking off her own shoes. Besides, he enjoyed these little moments when he could take care of her.  His brain began to catalog facts as he worked the laces free. The baby had most definitely dropped in the last few days and Patrick wondered if his wife was starting to feel any increased pressure on her bladder.  Her torso was short enough that even this change wouldn’t help much with the difficulty breathing she sometimes felt.

“I do feel so much calmer since I gave up work, she assured him.  There was a hitch in her voice that pinged something in his subconscious, and he tensed as she continued.  “I think you might feel the same if you could just be my husband and not my doctor, too. And I think it…It might be best if you don’t attend the birth.”

His stomach lurched.   “But it never occurred to me that you wouldn’t want me there!”

“I want you there as soon as the baby’s born,” she pacified, “but we’ve been in too many delivery rooms together before today.  Solving problems. Preventing disasters.”

“And we do prevent disasters!  We’re a team.”

She seemed unmoved by his argument, and he tried to read her face.  He knew that expression–he’d seen it often enough when she had to give bad news to a patient or tell Timothy to get back to his studies.

“Patrick, I know that you’re looking at my ankles and thinking that they’re swollen.”

His answer was reflexive.  “If you’re not experiencing headaches, and there’s no sign of proteinuria, then it could just be the normal oedema of late pregnancy.”  Too late, he realized he’d proven her logic.

“See, the minute you look at me, you go to work.,” she rejoined.

“No,” he admitted, his heart swelling.  “The minute I look I you, I’ll give you everything you ask for.”  Discussion over, he slipped the second shoe from her foot.

“There,” Shelagh said, sliding her feet into the slippers her husband held out for her. “Thank you, Patrick.”

He glanced up from under his furrowed brow.  Not be there at the delivery? It didn’t seem he had much choice in the matter.  Shelagh’s bossy streak was in full force these last few weeks. First the new house…then the home birth…now this?  He opened his mouth to protest but closed it in resignation.

Shelagh leant forward and caressed his cheek. “Patrick dear, don’t look so glum.  You’ll see I’m right, I promise.” She leant down and pressed a kiss to his lips. With a ladylike grunt, she extended her arm for assistance. “Up, please.  Those potatoes are not going to boil themselves!”

Patrick watched as she left the room.  Her back must definitely be hurting a bit now, he thought.  The baby was certainly settling lower. He’d have to keep an eye out for any early signs of–

“Patrick,” Shelagh called gently from the door.  “See what I mean? You’re doing it right now!” Her smile was kind.  “Come on then, Doctor. Help your pregnant wife down the stairs like all the other husbands.”

 

The evening air was crisp in the back garden, and Patrick was grateful for the cardigan Shelagh had handed him after dinner.  He stood by the trash bins and looked up at the stars. It’d be clear the next day or so, he thought. Good. The children needed to be outside, needed to get some air and sunshine if they were to head off the influenza outbreak he’d heard of in other parts of London. It wouldn’t do for them to get ill, especially with Shelagh being so far along in her pregnancy.

A laugh drew his attention back to the house, and through the large glass doors, he could see Shelagh and Angela sitting together with the pile of books the little girl had chosen that afternoon at the lending library.  Timothy sat in the corner of the room, finally finished with his studies for the night and flipping through a new comic book. The sight of his family should ease his mind, he knew, but Shelagh’s words this afternoon still stung.

Not be in the room when she delivered? He’d never even thought that was a possibility.   He’d taken for granted that Shelagh would want him there.

God, he wanted a cigarette.  His nerves were close to the surface, and a long slow pull of smoke into his lungs would be just the thing to calm them.  He rubbed the back of his neck and turned away from the glow of the windows.

There were still so many questions about this pregnancy that remained unanswered.  They’d accepted the near-miracle of its conception (though if he were honest, simply applying the Laws of Probability had made it a much more likely event than mere medicine could predict).  Considering the scarring left behind by the TB and the resulting procedure that had given them heartbreaking news three years ago, he wasn’t even convinced the baby should be delivered here at home at all, but Shelagh had been determined.  His maternity hospital–his efficient, comfortable, safe maternity hospital was not the place for her delivery.

She’s just showing her old prejudice for her district nursing days, he groused.  There was absolutely no reason why she shouldn’t deliver at the hospital. Maybe she was just a bit shy to be in the regular patient population?  He could promise her a private room. At the hospital, they’d be ready for any possible emergency.

His legs grew a bit unsteady and he dropped onto the nearby bench.  What if there was an emergency?  If he couldn’t be in the room, how could he be certain any and all warning signs would be noted?  Sister Julienne was a talented midwife, but–

The sound of the glass sliders opening sliced through his worried thoughts.  Tim approached and took the place next to him. “Mum’s really getting close now, isn’t she?” The boy’s deepening voice brought a crooked smile to his father’s face.

“Yes, very close.  We should expect things to start changing around here anytime.”

“I suppose.”  Tim’s voice was low.  “Some things aren’t likely to change, I reckon.  Mum’s putting everything in order, planning everything.  She’s just told us that we’re to go to Granny Parker’s when the time comes, and you’ll work at the surgery until it’s all over.  Just like it’s a regular day for you.”

“Yes,” Patrick answered cautiously.  “Your mother prefers it that way.”

“But what about you, what do you prefer?  I should think you’d want to be at the birth of your own child.  You’ve been there for half the births in Poplar for the last twenty-five years.”  He straightened his spine. “I don’t need to be shuttled off to Granny’s as if I were a child, Dad.”

Patrick hesitated.  He’d need to show support for Shelagh, but Tim was no fool.  “Tim, when a woman gives birth, things change a bit for her. It’s rather scary, and your mother copes with that by creating a sense of order.  It’s important that we help her feel safe, and if that means I can’t be with her at her time, I’ll just have to accept that. You know Sister Evangeline wouldn’t let me in the room when you were born, either.”  He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt.

A look of empathy passed over the young man’s face.  “You’re not too happy about it, are you?”

No, his son was certainly no fool.  “Not at all.”

Two sets of shoulders lifted in parallel sighs of resignation.  “Women can be a mystery, Tim, especially regarding childbirth. You know, when Mummy was getting close, she decided that she needed to bake.  I have no idea why, but she insisted that if she made enough cakes, she’d be ready for you. In that last month, she must have gone through twenty pounds of flour.  We couldn’t eat it all, so she’d give most to Nonnatus.” He leant in conspiratorily. “To be honest, I think Sister Monica Joan was more relieved than I was when you were born.  Your mother was a terrible baker!”

Tim chuckled softly. “I remember her cakes.  I was always glad when Mrs. B sent one over to us on special occasions.”

After a long moment, Tim broke the silence.  “You like that Mum gets so fussy about the details, don’t you?  All her lists and plans?”

“What do you mean?”

Tim screwed his face in concentration, the right words eluding him.  He licked his lips nervously and said, “You like being taken care of.”

Patrick blinked.  “I hope I take care of her, too.”  His voice was guarded.

“Well, yes, but you like being managed by her.  The surgery is never organized when she’s away, and you’re always happy to have her run the house.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Tim.”

Timothy shifted on the bench.  “The words aren’t coming out right.  I mean, I know you married Mum because you love her, but isn’t part of you glad she takes care of all those things?”

Patrick arched his neck and looked up at the night sky.  “I’m not certain I ever really thought of it that way, Tim.  I didn’t fall in love with Mum because I needed someone to help with the washing up.”

“No, I suppose not,” Tim admitted.  “But it got me wondering, that’s all.”

“We’re all on edge, Tim, that’s all this is.  Mum has good reasons to keep the house quiet when the time comes.  We have to respect them.” He leant in again. “Besides, you’re not really interested in being here, are you?  You cringe when we even talk about it. You wouldn’t be able to escape it if you were here!”

Timothy grimaced.  “No, I don’t really want to be here, but do I really have to stay at Granny Parker’s the whole time?”

Patrick’s mouth twisted in a half-smile.  Teasingly, he reached out to rub his son’s head.  “No, I suppose you could spend some of your time out trying to impress the ladies.  I’ll talk to Granny and let her know you’ll be out a bit. How’s that?”

“Dad!” Tim shrugged away, laughing.

Shelagh’s voice broke into their camaraderie. Neither had noticed that she’d come up behind them.  “You two look like you’re having a good time,” she said.

“Now, I hate to be a spoilsport, but it’s getting late, Timothy.  You said you needed to call your friend Alan about a question on your trigonometry.  You don’t want to wait too long. I’m sure his parents would not appreciate a phone call in the middle of the night.”

Patrick studiously avoided his son’s eye as he headed back in the house.  Instead, he extended his arm and Shelagh came up close against him.

“I have a feeling there was something going on out here I don’t quite understand,” Shelagh said.  

Patrick pressed a kiss against her smooth hair.  “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love,” he teased.  “Just man-talk–nothing to worry about.”

She slid her hand over his waist and toyed with the buttons of his cardigan.  “I think Tim wasn’t very happy about our decision to send the children to Granny Parker’s when the baby comes,” she admitted.

Our decision?  Patrick bit his lip to keep from saying the words.  “I’ve had a talk with him, and he understands better now,” he told her.  

“Truly?  I was so worried you’d both think I was being selfish.”  She looked up into his downturned face. “You’ll see, dearest.  It will be for the best.”

Angela’s voice came through the glass door.  “Mama, I finished my Horlicks!’

“Well, that’s me,” Shelagh pushed off from his side.  “Coming, Angela!”

At the doorway, she turned back.  “Are you coming, Patrick? It’s getting chilly out here.”

Smiling to himself ruefully, Patrick gave a brisk rub to his arms and followed his wife into the house.

 

Entirely Appropriate Behaviour

Here’s a fluffy little fic inspired by a gif set MissBergmans posted on Tumblr after S7Ep4.  You can find her blog here.  I’m grateful for both the gifset and her generosity in allowing me to include this here.

This ficlet was so much fun to write I wrote it in (for me)record time!  It’s not all original, I have to admit.  The italicized dialogue is directly from the episode written by Heidi Thomas and Lauren Klee.  The silly nonsense part is all me.


The old wood of the file cabinet drawer closed with a satisfying scrape.  One more task completed, Shelagh thought.  She mentally ticked off another item from her list of tasks to complete and felt a smug smile lift her lips.  She shook the smile off and scolded herself.  “Vanity is a sin, Shelagh Turner.  It’s required of us all to perform to the best of our abilities.”

She heard his footsteps before he came through the door to the maternity home, and she looked up expectantly.  Patrick swung into the room, his arms swinging jauntily.  Oh, he did look quite handsome in his new suit.  This new slim cut did suit him.

And he knew it, she reminded herself.  Apparently, she was not the only one prone to vanity.

He grinned at her and she felt the blush rise in response.  They still enjoyed the connection they felt at work, even after four years of working together at the surgery, but this afternoon she felt a bit more tingly than might be appropriate in the workplace.  

“Here is Sister Monica Joan’s referral letter,” she told him, holding the paper out to him.  “Mr. Greswell doesn’t have a very long waiting list.”

“The sooner, the better, I think.”  He unfolded the letter, checking its contents.  “Before she decides to flee Nonnatus House disguised as a washerwoman.”  He grinned at his own joke.

Shelagh shrugged and tried to disguise a giggle as a sigh.  Confidence was so appealing.  “She needs to be accompanied to hospital by someone she can trust and it sounds as though Sister Julienne is in her bad books.  Let’s see when they can fit her in.  I’ll take her myself is she hasn’t come ‘round to the notion.”

He smiled in approval, and Shelagh relaxed.  She wasn’t sure what he was up to, but she was sure there was some sort of subtext to his demeanour today.  Maybe she was just imagining it.  Patrick’s behaviour was always entirely appropriate.

He reached out to press her forearm, a simple gesture of agreement, but she felt his fingers squeeze her flesh ever so suggestively, and when he step past her on his way to his office she was certain he deliberately brushed up against her breast.  A thrill ran down her spine and she flushed a brighter pink.  

She turned about just in time to watch as he swaggered up the last step.  He turned, catching her staring at him and gave her a Cheshire grin.  

“Well, are you coming, or aren’t you?” he beckoned.

What happened next, behind the locked door of his office, may not have been entirely appropriate after all.

 

Losing Her Breath

2016-07-02

The crisp efficiency of the weekly Mother and Baby Clinic began to lag as the Parish Hall began to empty.  Sister Bernadette glanced about the room and wondered how they would ever manage to have the place set to rights in time for Madame Rocco’s dance class.  She noted with approval that Nurse Miller seemed to have the screens on hand, and Nurses Franklin and Lee were nearly finished storing the baby scales.  Stacks of chairs stood like soldiers awaiting an order, quickly arranged before Sister Evangelina left with Sister Julienne for chapel.  Even Sister Monica Joan played her part, amusing–and being amused by– the little ones.  

Her eyes drifted to the kitchen, where a lone figure leaned against the hatch, weary head resting upon his hand.  Her breath hitched and she turned away.  It was no business of hers if Doctor Turner looked so dreadfully tired.  Briskly, she walked to the play area on the far side of the hall.

“I’m sorry, Sister, do you mind if I sit here for just a moment longer?  My back is that tired.” Margie Peterson asked from a chair beside the dollhouse.  Her son, barely more than a baby himself, chattered at her feet.  “Of course, Mrs. Peterson, we’ll put your chair away last.”  She smiled at the tow-headed boy.  “Little Gregory has certainly grown these last few months.  Has he started walking yet?”

“Hasn’t he just!  Not a step for fourteen months, and last week he up and runs across the flat.  I can’t keep up with him.  I’m not sure what I’ll do once the baby comes.”

“You’ll manage, I’m sure, but if you have any trouble, please be sure to come to us at Nonnatus.  You can count on us to help.”  With her hip, she shifted the toy chest away from the small boys reach and began to pile toys away.  

Single-minded as only a child can be, the tot struggled to his feet and waddled over to investigate.  He reached in and pulled out a block then handed it to the nun with a grunt.  

“Why thank you, Gregory.”  Her soft burr grew a bit more pronounced in its tenderness.  “You’re a good wee boy. Can you help me put the toys back into the box?”

With a gurgling laugh, the boy shook his head. “Da!” he waved the doll in her face. “Da!”

“Is that your dolly, then?  He’s very nice. May I see him?”  

He looked up at her, a coy expression coming over his face.  He held the doll out just a bit, then tapped her palm.  His eyes widened with mischief, and he swerved out of reach, then made a break for it.  His mother pushed against the toy chest, valiantly trying to go after him.  “Listen to ‘im, his feet are like thunder when he takes off like that!”

“You stay there, Margie, I’ll get the little scamp!” Light on her feet, Sister Bernadette was up and after the child.  

Her eyes fixated on the bright head before her, running around in wide circles about the Hall.  She saw him zip by the kitchen, but would not let her eyes glance to see if the doctor was still there.  She darted about after him, conscious of a trill of laughter from her elderly sister.  She knew she must look ridiculous, running after the child in her habit.  Frustrated, Sister Bernadette pulled up short.  She would keep her dignity, even if she could not catch her breath.

Blood pounded in her ears, muffling the sounds in the room for a moment.  She watched the boy complete another circle about the room and felt her embarrassment grow.  

“Hello, Gregory,” Doctor Turner’s husky voice called across the room.  He kept his eyes on the boy.  “What have you got there?”

With a crow of laughter, the boy held out his doll and thumped towards the doctor.  He stopped short at the kitchen hatch and gazed up at the tall man, then pushed his doll forward.  

Sister Bernadette took the moment to move quickly and scooped the boy up into her arms.  Her firm voice belied the breathlessness she felt.  “Thank you, Doctor. Now, Gregory, it’s time you went back to your mother.”

Gregory cried out, “No!’ and shook his head vehemently.  “Da!”  He pointed to the doctor.  “Da!”

Sister Bernadette pressed her lips together.  All she wanted at that moment was to be somewhere–preferably a very far somewhere–away from this scene, away from him, but to resist the child would only make the scene more humiliating.  She drew in a deep breath and waited for the boy to calm himself before returning to his mother.

Young Gregory Peterson had little empathy for her predicament.  Sure of his victory, he again pushed the doll towards Doctor Turner and asserted, “Da!”

“I think he’s talking about his doll,” Sister Bernadette told him, her voice clipped.

“Is that right?” the Doctor asked, his eyes fixed on the boy.  “Well, I’ve learned never to negotiate with a toddler.  Come show me your doll, Gregory, I’d like to see him.”

With little choice but to move closer, Sister Bernadette shifted the toddler on her hip and approached the hatch.  Gregory stretched out an arm and passed the doll over the opening.  Doctor Turner accepted the offering, careful not to touch the sticky parts.  

She tried hard not to notice the softening lines in his face as he examined the toy.  “He’s quite nice, old chap.  I reckon he’s one of your favourites.  My Timothy had a doll much like this one when he was your age.”  He glanced up, a crooked smile lighting up his face.

Thoughts of Timothy, and three-legged races, and kitchen hatches, flooded her mind and she sent a small prayer up for strength.  It was so confusing to be near him and hear his voice rasp quietly as if there was no one else in the Hall.  She grew agitated and tried to make her escape.

Again, Gregory would have none of it.  He twisted back to the doctor, his empty hand extended expectantly.  He shook his head vehemently as the doctor made to return the toy.  “No!”

“He wants your cigarette case, I’m afraid.  For a trade.  All the children play that way, he must have picked it up from them.”

Turner picked up the gold case.  “This?” His brows climbed up in surprise.  “I’m afraid you’re a bit too young for these nasty things, Gregory.  Here,” he opened the case and removed the sole remaining cigarette, tucking it into his shirt pocket.  A red brace peeked out for just a moment, and Sister Bernadette was grateful that the distraction caused by the child hid her blush.

“I only had one left, that’s why I was standing here moping,” he confided, his voice a bit over-cheery.  “The shops’ll be closed, and I didn’t think to get more.  I seem to let things slip through the cracks these days, I’m afraid.”  He nodded quickly.  “Let him have the case for a few moments.  It’ll give you some peace, and I’ll get it back just as his mother’s ready to leave.”  His hazel-green eyes tried to meet her blue ones.

“Thank you, Doctor.  Your help is much appreciated, as always.”  Resisting the urge to meet his look, she walked the little boy back to his mother.  Was he watching her go?  No, she would not look back to see.  

The young mother stood waiting with Sister Monica Joan.  “Here you go, Mrs. Peterson.  Doctor Turner will meet you at the entrance.  Gregory can return the case then.”  She brushed down her habit smoothing it into order.   

“You two make a good team, Sister.  Thanks for the help with my boy.  Come on, then, Greggie.”  She reached her hand down and took the tiny one in hers.  Gregory looked back and waved as his newest conquest watched him leave.

“He’s quite a lovely child, isn’t he?” Sister Monica Joan’s voice came from over her shoulder.  “I never felt the desire to have my own.  That was no sacrifice in my vow of chastity.”

Sister Bernadette glanced up in surprise, uncertain of her response.  “I’m sure we must all determine our own sacrifice, Sister.”  

The elderly nun moved to the door.  “Ours is a life of spiritual fulfillment, my dear sister.  We have chosen a larger family, and it is time for us to rejoin our sisters in prayer.”

Sister Bernadette watched as Sister Monica Joan glided to the doors, past the last of the mothers and children, past the busy nurses and the arriving dancers.   A breath fluttered past her lips and she bent her head in a moment of prayer then followed her sister from the Hall.

 


A/N:  Special thanks to @thatginchygal.tumblr.com for her help as my beta for this.  She really helped me reconsider some things, and the title is all her.

The Call the Midwife characters do not belong to me, alas.  However, any mistakes, writing flaws, etc you find are purely mine.

No Secret Anymore

In s6e8, Shelagh and Patrick sing “Secret Love,” which got me thinking. How and when did this become a special song? 


Patrick looked up from the files before him and sighed.  He’d have to stay up for hours if he was ever going to catch up with the diabetes clinic notes, and he simply did not have the concentration he needed.  For years this quiet time in the evening had been his most productive, and efficient use of it kept paperwork from overwhelming him.

In the last few weeks, however, he hadn’t made much headway in the bureaucracy of his practice. Tim needed more attention since coming home from the hospital, and time for exercises and practicing with his calipers kept them occupied.  If it weren’t for Shelagh, Patrick was sure they’d fall behind in that area, as well.

The quiet hum of her voice passed over the hatch from the kitchen as she set about making their last cup of tea for the night.  A smile lifted the corner of his mouth and he leaned back in his chair.  If he were completely honest with himself, Shelagh was the biggest distraction of all.  What power did a sheaf of paper have compared to the feel of her cuddled next to him on the sofa?  Or the sound of her sigh in his ear as he nuzzled her neck?   He couldn’t possibly be expected to slave over ink and paper so soon after their honeymoon.

He clicked the cover back on his pen and stretched.  He’d get to the diabetes clinic in due time. Resting his forearms on the hatch, he watched his wife spoon sugar into his tea cup, just the way he liked it. Her eyes glanced up at him, and a faint pink color stole across her cheeks.  He supposed he wasn’t hiding his thoughts well.

“What’s that song you’re humming?” he asked.

A secret thought crossed her face, and the pink deepened to rose.  Shelagh bent to fuss with the tea tray. “Just a silly thing I heard on the radio this morning. I–I’m not certain what it’s called.”

He shifted his body away from the wall and approached her at the kitchen table. “It sounds pretty, whatever it is.  I’ve always thought you have a lovely voice.” He stroked his finger over the curve of her ear and then reached for her hand.  “Sing it for me?”

“Pish, Patrick, don’t be silly.” She pulled at her hand, but he only tightened his grip and pulled her close.  

“I’m not being silly.  I want to dance with you.  We haven’t danced together since our wedding.”  

In her effort to conquer her embarrassment, Shelagh’s voice became prissy.  “We both have too much to do, Patrick.  We’ll have some tea and get to those insulin charts.”  She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders back.

He laughed softly. Despite her words, the flush continued to travel down the length of her throat.  Shelagh was not in as much control as she was pretending.  He placed his palm to hers,  flesh to flesh, and entwined their fingers.  A shuddering breath escaped her lips as he gave a light kiss to her fingers, then he pressed their hands to his heart.   Her eyes flashed up at him, startled by the intensity that came over her so quickly, and she hid her face in the lee of his shoulder.  

His other hand snaked around her waist and he murmured,

“I don’t want any tea.”


Over the course of the next week, the little tune ran through Patrick’s head, but he could not place it.  He’d hum a few bars and stop, his mind on Shelagh’s blushing cheeks.  On the few occasions that Shelagh caught him humming the tune, she’d bustle away in search of a task.

“Dad, you’ve got to stop humming. It’s the same four bars over and over.  It’s really quite irritating,” Timothy scolded on the drive to school.

“Sorry, son,” Patrick responded, his hands gesturing in defeat.  “It’s stuck in my head, no matter what I do.  I don’t even know its name.”

“Ask one of the nurses, they’re sure to know.”

Shelagh’s embarrassment was a bit of a puzzle. Despite her previous life of celibacy, his wife was no prude. In the private darkness of their room, she welcomed the new intimacies of marriage. She was still a bit shy about more public displays, but with each week grew more secure in her new role as a wife.  Still, there was something intriguing about her response to that song, and Patrick had a feeling that she wasn’t ready to share with others.  He’d have to discover the name of the song another way.

The green car pulled up before the school gates. “You’ll be late if you don’t hurry, Tim. I promise I won’t keep humming. I’ve got an idea.”

The record shop door bell tinkled as Patrick made his way into the bright room.  He couldn’t recall how many years had passed since he’d purchased a record. Marianne had been the real music lover, and he had been content to listen to whatever she put on the record player. He didn’t listen to much music in the car, either.  Sometimes it seemed driving was the only quiet time he could snatch during the day.

Mr. Graham came out from behind his counter. “Doctor Turner!  I never thought to see you in me shop. I ‘ope you’re not here to bring me some bad news, eh?”  

“No, Mr. Graham, no news. Possibly because you haven’t been to see me for a physical in a few years?” Patrick teased.

“Ah, well, you know how it is, Doc, busy, busy! What with this Elvis Presley bloke I can’t keep the records on them shelves! You should see this place of an afternoon– full o’ teenagers it is! I just turn down me hearing aid, though, and all’s well.  So what can I do for you today?”

Patrick cleared his throat, opened his mouth to speak and then cleared his throat again. Taking a deep breath, he forced the words out. “I’ve come to find the name of a song. It’s been tickling in the back of my head all week and I thought that perhaps if I heard the song, it’d leave me be.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place then, haven’t you?  The wife says I know every song there is, just you ask her. So, er…  Where did you hear this song, then?  The radio? The pub?  Though what with you being newly married and all, I don’t doubt you’ve not had time for the pubs of late, ” he asked in a conspiratorial tone.

“My wife was humming it earlier this week. She said she’d heard it somewhere but couldn’t place it.”  Patrick’s fingers drummed on the counter’s edge.

“Well, I never was one to turn down a challenge. You’ll have to hum a bit for me.”

If Patrick was nervous to bring up the subject, the idea of humming out in the middle of a Poplar shoppe, when anyone could walk in, was daunting. Yet, he had to know the song Shelagh was humming if he would solve the secret of her blushes.

“It’s a bit like this:

Dum dah dum dee dum dee dum

Dah dum dee dah dee dum dee dum…”  

Heavens, please let that have been enough of the song, Patrick thought.  He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could withstand. The image of Shelagh’s pink cheeks appeared before his eyes and strengthened his resolve.

Mr. Graham leaned his elbow on the counter and rubbed his chin in concentration. For a long moment, he hummed the tune to himself, working out its origin.  He glanced up suddenly.  “Can you hum it one more time, Doctor?  I have an idea, but–it can’t be…”

With a sigh, Patrick rushed through the tune one more time. Really, this was the silliest thing he’d done in a very long time.

Patrick watched the other man stare at him for another moment, and then a deep laugh rolled up from the shopkeeper’s belly.  For long moments he struggled to stop, but the chuckles grew into guffaws, and finally slid into wheezing roar.  His hands flew about his face as he strained to get control of himself until finally, the old man started to regain his breath. Still chortling, he held his hand up asking for a moment and walked between the aisles of records. He stopped in front of one section, thumbed through the record sleeves and pulled one out. A quick nod of his head and walked back behind the counter.

Mystified, Patrick watched as the man slipped the album into a paper bag and folded over the edges. He shook his head to gather himself and said, “Here you go, Doctor Turner. A belated wedding gift, as it were. You bring this home to the missus and you enjoy it.  Song number four.”

Outside in the car, Patrick slipped his purchase from the paper sack. His eyebrows scrunched over his nose in consternation as he flipped the album jacket from front to back.

At that moment, he was more than grateful he had waited to open the bag.  He could feel his face flood with color and he began to at last understand his wife’s embarrassment. The song was appropriate, certainly.  A slow grin crossed his face as the implications become apparent.  He’d have to trade on-call duty with Greenwood.  

Tonight, he was dancing with his wife.


“It’s a good thing for us Dr. Greenwood needed to switch his on-call with you tonight, Patrick,” Shelagh announced as she carried Timothy’s calipers into the sitting room. “There’s still so many files to be gone through before we open the new maternity home, and Timothy spilt some milk on his calipers today.  I’m afraid they’re going to need a polishing.”

Patrick took the metal and leather straps from her hands and placed them on the table. “I’ll get to them in the morning.  I have something I want to show you.” He handed her the paper sack. “Go ahead, open it.”

Shelagh looked up at him, curious.  “Patrick, there’s no need–” Her breath caught in her lungs as the record slid out. The telltale flush flooded her pale skin and her shoulders tensed.

“My love–Shelagh, look at me.”

Shelagh shook her head and placed the record on the table face down.

Patrick considered how far he should push his point.  In the early weeks of their engagement, Shelagh had struggled to face the eyes of the community, and he didn’t want any old awkwardness to resurface.  His instinct told him this was different, however,  that there was something new about her blushes of late that spoke more of awareness than shame.  

“Shelagh, it’s just a song.” He cupped her face in his hands. “We’ve nothing to be ashamed of, my love, I hope you know that.”

Her eyes darted to his in surprise.  “I’m not ashamed, Patrick.   Never that.”  Keeping her eyes downcast, Shelagh struggled to find words.

Perhaps he should change tacks.  “Shelagh? Will you dance with me?”

Her tiny nod was enough for him.  Taking her hand, he drew her to the record player.  She stood passively by as he gently lowered the needle to the spinning disc, his touch light.  The silence of anticipation enveloped them, and Patrick turned to her.  Not shy, but somehow tentative, Shelagh moved into his arms.  

He could feel the restraint in her. No, restraint wasn’t the right word, yet he knew she was holding something back.  He could push for more and she would give herself to him, she would allow him to lead her to their bedroom and would give herself to him.  Why was he hesitating, he wondered? He could feel the desire hum between them.  Yet he waited.

Her soft voice stole his heart.  “I love you so, Patrick.”

His nose brushed lazy curves against her forehead.  He forced himself to wait another moment. This was about her confusion, not his; it was not his place to lead her to her own conclusion.  He would trust that Shelagh loved him and would find her own answer.

“There’ve been so many changes these last six months–my whole life is different.”  Her thumb caressed the palm he held to his heart.   “It’s more than leaving the Order to marry you.  I always had to be the stoic one, growing up– I think it’s part of what drew me to the religious life in the first place.  I was able to channel my emotions to God, and they became so much less troublesome. But now–”

“Now?” he breathed.

She moved closer and rested her head against his chest.  He held her close, not really dancing but simply swaying to the music. “I’m not afraid to feel anymore.”

“That’s good, then?”

She lifted her face to his and smiled. “That’s lovely.”  In a slow movement, she slid her hands around his shoulders and threaded her fingers through his hair.  With a gentle tug, she pulled his face to hers.  Happy to comply, Patrick met her lips in a soft kiss.  The swayed together, the song winding through an instrumental section.  Shelagh broke the pressure of her mouth under his to glide her mouth across his lined cheek and whispered, “This song makes me want to be in your arms.”  She returned her mouth to his, her lips eager to show him her pleasure.  The tip of her tongue flicked against his lips, coaxing them to part.  She tugged his lower lip between hers and sucked gently.

A deep groan rose up from Patrick’s chest as he let her take the lead.  Her boldness aroused him and he delighted in the feel of her body pressed tightly to his.  How far would she take this?  His hands twitched as e tried to hold himself back.  His patience was beginning to fade.

It seemed Shelagh was more in control than he.  She pulled away, her hands against his chest to put some air between them.  Her cheeks were flushed with desire, but her eyes were clear, and he began to understand. Shelagh loved him, she loved being a wife in every way.  There had been so many changes for her, more than he realized.  As a nun, she had harnessed her womanhood in service to others and found the solidarity she sought in prayer and community.  By her own choice, Shelagh had turned that fierce devotion towards her husband and stepson and made her own happiness.

She rested her palm against his cheek.  “I’m learning to let myself show what I feel.  I can watch you–or Timothy–and not concern myself with what others will think. But–oh, I was silly, Patrick.  The song is lovely, truly it is, and I could never be ashamed of loving you.”

His eyebrows lowered in confusion. “Then why the pink cheeks?”

“Promise not to tease?”

He chuckled.  “I can try. You know how I love watching you blush.”

Shelagh rolled her eyes, trying to appear stern, then gave up.  “The song makes me forget everything else but you, and then I catch myself being romantic.” She glanced up and met his eyes. “See? I told you my little secret was silly.”

The song faded into the soft hiss of the needle spinning in the record’s final groove.  Patrick’s hands pulled her close as she tilted her lips to his.  “Never silly, my love…and no secret anymore.”