A Mission of Hope, Chapter Five

BBN9PKA/N:  I’ve tried to be as accurate as possible with this chapter in order to explain some of the questions I have about how a team of nuns and medics from the poorest part of London could get to South Africa. (Hint: it involves a great deal of suspension of disbelief, a generous benefactor, two planes, a train and a bus, and two nights in hotels–What? you don’t think that’s realistic?? It’s AU, baby!!).

Also, I’ve introduced apartheid and Homelands in this chapter and have tried to do so in a correct historical context of early 1962. Any errors are innocently meant. There are links below that will offer clarity.

One last thing. Did you know that a group of giraffes has two different collective nouns? A group of standing giraffes is called a “tower,” while a group of running giraffes is called a “jenny.”

Sometimes I really love English.

Previous Chapter


 

A battered train chugged through the pale yellow bushveld, lacking any of the urgency and determination of its European brethren. Miles distant, the blue shadows of the Great Escarpment jutted out from the veld, sequestering the Eastern Cape from the world. The sky glowed with a bright blue never seen in London, an enormous dome that refused admittance to any clouds.

It was as if God had used an entirely different palette of colors when He created this part of the world. Yellow and blue shimmered here in a way never seen on the sunniest day in England, challenging the eye to see more than it could. Green was deeper, darker and more mysterious than the pale greens of the English oak.  Even the greys were different from London greys.  

Within the first class carriage, Shelagh watched the scenery pass unchanged for miles. The pale gold of the mid-summer grasses was dotted with clumps of bushes and the occasional sinewy tree. The heat of the midday sun forced animals into shady spots, unseen from the train. In all, the effect was hypnotizing.

Shelagh shook herself from her quiet and stretched lightly. In the bench across from her, Angela lay curled up on Patrick’s lap, the two lulled to sleep by the gentle motion of the train. Shelagh smiled as she watched them breathe in tandem, Angela gently sucking her thumb as her father snored.

Not all of the passengers slept in the compartment. Sisters Julienne and Winifred both read from their Bibles. A catch-as-catch-can sort of schedule had been adopted for their daily offices, but both nuns were used to irregular schedules. Fred sat at an end of the car, a game of Solitaire spread out on the seat next to him. Trixie and Barbara sat across from Tom Hereward, a curious sort of trio. Timothy and Phyllis Crane sat in the first row of seats, eyes out the window as they catalogued everything they could see.

Shelagh rose and began to pace along the length of the car.  No other passengers had joined them in this car since they had left the port city of East London, despite the activity at each stop. She paused for a moment to observe Fred’s game, then tapped a card. He glanced up, then sheepishly shifted a stack. A moment with the sisters, another quiet conversation with the nurses, and she took a seat with her son.

“It’s hard to believe we were having tea in Nonnatus house only three days ago,” remarked Nurse Crane over the sound of the engine.

“It would have been much longer if we didn’t have the Missionary Society escorting us everywhere,” Timothy replied. Indeed, John Taylor had pulled enough strings to make the team from Poplar feel more like dignitaries than a travelling medical team. Missionary agents met the party each step of the way, paving over the arduous task of international travel.  Acclimating new missionaries was a top priority of the Christian Missionary Society. There were struggles enough ahead that could cause attrition, getting the help to Africa was the very least that could be done.

Connecting flights had been arranged between Heathrow, Nairobi and East London, South Africa, effectively  minimizing delays.  At each stop along the way, a different Society representative greeted them and handled arrangements for nightly accommodations, as evening travel was unreliable. After an early flight to East London, they were escorted to a small hotel near the sea for the night. Worn out from the travel, they were grateful for a day of rest before boarding a train to Alice, situated twelve miles south of the Hope Mission.

Shelagh stretched her back and looked at the stack of books between her son and the no-nonsense nurse. Over the past weeks, Timothy and Phyllis Crane had formed an unexpected bond. While the others spent the last month of preparation in accumulating and packing supplies for the mission, they gathered every book, travel brochure and periodical they could, resulting in a collection of knowledge fit for the British High Commission in Pretoria.  Timothy focussed on the flora and fauna of the region. Phyllis Crane was an expert in the unusual laws of the South African people.

“Though I suppose we’ll be spending most of our time in Ciskei, what they call a ‘homeland,’ and not ‘South Africa,’ to be precise,” Phyllis had informed the group at one of the gatherings before the departure. There was so much to organize in such a short time that semi-weekly meetings had been deemed necessary. Nonnatus House became a sort of home base for these meetings and  a temporary center for the donations and medical supplies they would bring to Africa.

Patrick had looked up from the large box of medical syringes on the dining room table. “What do you mean, not ‘South Africa’?”

“Just, that, doctor. Officially, we are not going to be working in South Africa. Last year, the government of South Africa created specific areas within the nation with the express purpose of settling blacks within those borders. They’re technically independent.” She walked over to the map she had requisitioned from the Mission Society. “Hope Mission is located here,” using her pen she pointed to a small area of the canvas. A rough outline had been marked in ink on the outdated map. “Just within the eastern border of Ciskei.”

“The government forced people to leave their homes and settle somewhere else?” Trixie’s voice showed her outrage.

“Yes.” Phyllis capped her pen and faced the group.

“But why would they move people in the first place?” Patrick abandoned the syringes. “Why would they go to the effort of moving such a large number of people from their homes? It doesn’t make sense.”

Phyllis sighed, and folded her glasses back up, slipping them into her uniform pocket. “It seems the official stance on the subject is to grant a sort of autonomy for the Blacks. The argument is that by keeping language groups together, with similar traditions, they will be able to govern themselves.  However, from what I can determine, there’s a much darker reason, I’m afraid.”

“How do you mean?” Patrick questioned. By now, the attention of everyone in the room had shifted to Phyllis.

“South Africa has a rather difficult history, as you know. The apartheid system,” she glanced around the room and saw the nods of understanding–everyone had done their homework it seemed— “has been in effect in fact if not official doctrine for a very long time. From what I can gather, the resettlement has more to do with sequestering the Blacks away from the Whites than granting independence. Technically, these four regions are independent, and not the responsibility of the South African government. By pretending these regions are no longer part of the official nation, the government can justify eliminating the few remaining political rights Blacks have within South Africa. Not to mention, if they can claim the homelands are not South African territory, the government has no reason to financially support the regions whatsoever.”

“That would explain why Dr. Fitzsimmons sent out the call for help,” mused Patrick. “A growing population and diminishing resources. We’re all too familiar with that set of problems.”

Phyllis looked about the room once more. “Doctor Turner is correct, I’m afraid. The problems of the Hope Mission are likely to be similar to problems we have encountered in Poplar, but I’m afraid that the scale will be on a level none of us have ever seen.”

Less than a day after their arrival in South Africa, the rightness of Nurse Crane’s words was becoming apparent. Signs hung above doors to businesses, hotels and even train carriages directing people along racial lines. Their train compartment was empty but for their party, as few whites were travelling, but the three cars in the rear were near overflowing. And while the medical team from Poplar enjoyed comfortable cushions and a clean car, the cars set aside for the Non-Whites were crowded and uncomfortable. Segregated by the invisible fence of custom and law, the tension here was certainly greater than back home.

Timothy glanced back at his sleeping father and sister. “Dad’s snoring.” he mocked. “He always snores when he sleeps sitting up. I don’t know how Angela can always nap on his lap with that noise.”

Shelagh grimaced. “Timothy, be nice. Your father works very hard. And I think your sister is delighted to spend time with him any way she can.” She poked his shoulder and teased, “Just for that, Mr. Always, you’re on Angela duty when she wakes.”

“I’d mind your mother, Timothy,” Phyllis nudged. “I recall you were none to happy to be following your sister up and down the aisle on that aeroplane to Nairobi. My, that girl does have energy!”

Shelagh stood. “I’d better get back in case she does wake. Timothy, I have the last few biscuits if you’re hungry.”

“I’m always hungry,” he quipped.

The scenery outside her window had not varied since her walk, so Shelagh turned her attention to the sleeping pair before her. Angela’s skin was already pink from her afternoon at the ocean yesterday. Hopefully, she would be more willing to keep her dress on when there were no ocean waves to tempt her. One day in the surf and sand had convinced the little girl she should be a mermaid, and they were still finding contraband seashells in her pockets.

Patrick’s face had some color too, and in his sleep, the stress of the last months eased. The new  lightweight linen clothes suited him, his lean figure cool and elegant in the pale tan material. Of all the tasks she had completed in preparation for the journey, shopping for a warm weather wardrobe for her family had been her favorite. Shelagh sighed lightly, and her eyes traveled back up to her husband’s face.

His eyes were open, bright with a gleam meant for her alone. The slow smirk that crossed his face showed her he knew exactly what she was thinking, and he winked. In an instant, Shelagh’s dimple appeared and she shook her head at him coyly. She glanced about the carriage nervously, then seemed to make a decision. Her eyes on his, she slowly stretched across the space dividing them and skimmed his shin with her foot.

His eyes widened in surprise as he considered a response, but a snuffle from Angela broke the mood. “I’ll remember that later, my love” Patrick whispered.

“Angela,” Tim cried from his bench at the front of the car.

“Timothy,” Shelagh shushed him. She turned to see the members of their group standing to look out the train windows on one side of the carriage. “What on earth?”

“Giraffes! Wake Angela! She’ll want to see them!” Tim called over his shoulder.

Patrick carried his slowly rousing daughter to the wide window across the train. In the distance, marula trees bowed over the bush, their wide crowns of leaves creating pools of shade on the sun-baked land.

“Look, Angela! What do you see?” Like the others, Patrick’s voice was child-like with excitement.

“Raffe!” the little girl shouted. “Raffe!” She began to look about her frantically.

“Here you go, darling,” Shelagh cooed, holding out a small wooden giraffe in her palm.

Angela clutched the figurine in her chubby hand and gave it a noisy kiss. “Raffe, Dada. See?” She pointed her hand at the tower of giraffes lazily nibbling on the bulbous fruit hanging from the branches. Patrick lowered her to stand on the seat next to her brother. “Raffes eating!” Her happy squeal was infectious.

“Yes, Angel girl, the giraffes are eating. And do you know who knows more about giraffes than anyone on this train, sweetheart?” Patrick’s eyes widened in encouragement.

“Timofee!” Angela cheered. None but Timothy would do, now, and the boy pretended a groan.

Fred hunkered down on the next bench and adjusted the window to keep the excited two-year old within the train. “Well, little miss, I gotta tell ya. This sure ain’t Poplar.”

 


Next Chapter

Here are some links to sites that may make this all make a bit more sense:

Photo: The Great Escarpment and the Bushveld

Map: South Africa

East London beach

South African Homelands

 

A Mission of Hope, Chapter One

I’ve decided to jump into the world of AU, and write about something that’s not canon. This fic has nothing to do with what’s likely to happen in Series 6 of Call the Midwife, and is more an exercise in combining my love of the characters, history and movies.

I will play with timelines, use some dramatic license with locations, and test the laws of physics. Well, I’ll avoid physics, but I might test your sense of disbelief. My main goal is to explore and understand some well-loved characters. As always, these characters do not belong to me, but I am grateful for all they have taught me.

Forgive me my self -indulgence.

BBN9PK

Chapter One

In the weeks since the thalidomide scandal broke out, a strange melancholy had come over the Kenilworth Row Maternity Home and its staff. While no new babies had been born afflicted by the ravages of the cruel drug, every day brought with it the worry that today, another would appear. Even the start of the holiday season did little to dissipate the grim mood.

The drug had been officially banned in the United Kingdom, and calls came up through the medical profession demanding new standards in pharmaceutical testing. If there was any good that could come from this terrible chapter, it would be stronger regulations to prevent such a tragedy from ever occurring again. But that was little comfort to mothers like Rhoda Mullocks.

Patrick Turner stepped from his car, turning the key to lock the door and headed up the stone steps from street level to the flat’s entrance. To keep the spirit of Christmas up for the children, Shelagh had insisted they decorate for the holiday. Today, she had hung a wreath on the door. He did appreciate all Shelagh was doing to maintain some sense of normal, even if he found it hard to assist. He would have to make a greater effort. He swallowed heavily and entered the flat.

The sounds of carols on the radio greeted him as he hung his coat in the hall, the scent of mince pies filling the air. He suspected the early baking was more to keep his wife’s mind occupied that a desire to stock up on holiday pastry. More than anyone else, Shelagh understood his sense of guilt and even felt a sense of her own culpability. Both knew they had acted in the best interests of their patients, that there had been no malpractice, but the knowledge that is was their misplaced trust in modern medicine made it all the harder to continue caring for the poor of Poplar. He pushed forward and went to meet his family.

Timothy sat in an armchair, his Biology text balanced on his knees as he copied a diagram. He didn’t look completely happy about his position, having been ejected from his preferred spot at the table. The boy had a desk in his room but preferred to sit with his mother and sister as he worked on his studies. Patrick wondered how the boy could get anything done now that Angela refused to stay within the confines of her play yard. She seemed to take great delight from piling her toys on her brother as he worked.

Shelagh looked up from the washing she was folding. “Hello, dear,” she greeted him, raising her cheek for his light kiss.

“Dad, there’s a letter for you postmarked from South Africa!” Tim announced.

“South Africa?” he wondered, his brow furrowing.

Before he could give the letter any more attention, he felt a tug on his trouser leg and looked down to see two-year-old Angela’s  bright eyes and saucy smile. Pushing aside the sting of guilt he felt each time he pushed away his burdens, he crouched down to her level. “Hello, Miss Angela. It’s a pleasure to see you.” He picked up her soft hand, lifted it to his lips and was rewarded with the same shy smile of delight he so often saw play across his wife’s face.

Wrapping his daughter in his arms, he stood. “What’s that about a letter, Tim?’ he asked. His eyes squinted as Angela patted his cheeks.

“It’s got a stamp from South Africa. Who do you know from there?” Tim asked. He handed the letter up, avoiding his sister’s inquisitive fingers.

Patrick turned the letter over in his hands. “Hope Mission,” he read aloud. “M. Fitzsimmons.” He thought for a moment, remembering. “We went to medical school together. She went down there sometime after the war, I think. I wonder what she has to say to me?”

“There was a woman in your medical school class, Dad?” Tim was amazed.

“Women can become doctors, Timothy,” Shelagh admonished from beyond the kitchen hatch.

“They can now, Mum. But Dad went to school so long ago, I didn’t think it was possible.”

“Mind your cheek, Tim, “ Patrick warned, his grin hidden by Angela’s hands. “There were three in my class when we started, I’ll have you know.” He caught his son’s eyes, halting any further response. “And no, it wasn’t so long ago that one of them was named ‘Eve.’”

“Can the letter wait a bit longer, dearest? Dinner’s just ready.” Shelagh carried in a bowl of roasted sprouts.

Patrick placed the letter on the mantle. “I suppose it won’t hurt to wait until later. I’m famished.”

 

Evenings were the easiest time to forget about the troubles within the practice, when self-reproach gave way to love. There was a tacit agreement to put the focus on family for the few hours they had before the children went to bed. The lively chatter of a bright young man and the happy little girl kept the mood light and made preparations for the holiday possible.

Patrick stood in doorway of the bath and watched as Shelagh gave Angela’s hair a final rinse. The little girl sputtered and squealed with laughter.

“She’ll turn into a mermaid one day,” he laughed. He opened the towel and put out his arms, scooping up the slippery child. “I’ll dress her tonight.”

He passed by Tim’s room on the way to the nursery. “Ready for the Biology exam tomorrow, Tim?”

“I think so. I’m fairly certain I know my all the enzymes.”

Patrick shifted the wiggly girl on his hip. “Enzymes aren’t all that hard, Tim. Just remember to break it down.”

Timothy rolled his eyes at the terrible pun. “Can I have the stamp when you’ve finished your letter?”

“Right. I nearly forgot.”

Shelagh joined them in the hallway. “You go read your letter, Patrick. I’ll get Angela to sleep tonight,” she suggested.

With a kiss on Angela’s little nose and a quick one on his wife’s cheek, Patrick left his family to settle in for the night.

 

He sat staring into space, absently tapping the letter against his chin when Shelagh returned.

“Good news, I hope,” she said as she settled on the couch next to him. Her hand slid around his arm, finding his hand. They’d have one last cup of tea and set to wrapping gifts.

He sat up a bit and put the letter on her lap. “Interesting news, anyway. Myra Fitzsimmons was always…she’s an unusual person. She wasn’t the only woman in our class, but she was the most ambitious, maybe more ambitious than any of us. She was older and had years of medical training before she came to school–she lied about her age to be accepted as a nurse in the First World War, then went on to serve in Liverpool Hospital for another ten years or so.” He laughed softly. “I don’t suppose she relished the idea of listening to anyone, much less a man, so she left nursing and joined our class. Some of the old instructors were pretty rough on her, but she held firm. I think she was the only one to never faint in anatomy class!”

Shelagh lifted the letter to exaine it more closely. “It must have been difficult for her. In my experience, most doctors can be …condescending… when treating women as patients. In the classroom, they must’ve been insufferable!”

Patrick turned to her in mock outrage.

“Present company excepted, dearest.” She pressed her cheek against his shoulder. “Were you friends?”

“Not friends, exactly. Myra Fitzsimmons didn’t make friends easily, but she was an excellent lab partner. No nonsense, and the quickest diagnostician I ever knew. She signed up with the RAMC during the World War II and got stationed in Cape Town, and decided to stay.”

“So why did she write you? Is she coming back to England? We could use someone like her here in Poplar.” Shelagh stifled a yawn.

“Actually, no. She runs a mission on the East Cape, and it looks like they’re in trouble.” He turned to face Shelagh. “She wants us to go down there.”


Next Chapter

 

First Words

 

tumblr_nib2uu829A1sjv7x9o1_1280Another response to a prompt suggestion by Like-an-Officer-and-a-Sergeant over on Tumblr. I think the title speaks for itself.


 

Propped up against the pillows of the family’s gold sofa, Angela Turner was the center of attention. She was quite used to such treatment, for she was, after all, the most beautiful baby ever born (her father often told her so), not to mention brilliantly clever (big brother Timothy’s decree) and undeniably charming and captivating (that’s what Mummy said, anyway). Today, however, there was a new reason for her admirers to kneel at her feet.

Angela Turner, at the advanced age of five-and-a-half months, was learning to speak.

“Say ‘Mama,’ Angela darling,” her mother coaxed. Shelagh’s voice was gentle, and Angela turned towards it naturally. “Mama,” Shelagh repeated.

Angela’s eyes were enormous in her sweet face, and her smile revealed two tiny little white tooth buds in her bottom gum. She must have known its effect, for she brandished that smile at all and sundry. She watched her mother’s face, rapt with attention.

“Honestly, Patrick, she said it this very afternoon. It was as clear as a bell.” Shelagh bit her lip in bewilderment.

“She might have done, Shelagh, but you know as well as I that a child of this age isn’t really speaking. They’re simply practicing sounds. ‘Mama’ is an easy one to say. She could just as well be saying ‘dada.’”

Shelagh glanced up from under her lowered brow. “She did not simply repeat a sound, Patrick. Angela’s been babbling for weeks now, I know the difference. Today she looked at me and said “Mama.” Our daughter has said her first word.”Determined, Shelagh reached for the satin-bound baby book by her side and opened it.  

“What are you doing?’ Patrick demanded.

“I’m filling in her first word, of course.”

“Shelagh, you can’t. Angela hasn’t repeated it once this evening.”

With a sigh, Shelagh capped her pen and put the book down. “Very well, then. We’ll just have to show Daddy, won’t we Angel Girl?” She smiled softly at the child and began to repeat the word.

With a quick squeal, Angela began to laugh. Her lips opened and closed, mimicking the face her mother made, and then, it happened. “Mama!” the genius child cried.

Both parents laughed with her. “Patrick, she said it again!”

“Mama. Mama.Mama.” The word filled the sitting room.

After a few moments, Patrick glanced at Shelagh. “I’m still not convinced she’s saying this as a word, Shelagh. Try and see if she can use the word to identify you.”

“Patrick, she’s said my name a thousand times already. Of course, she knows.”

But Patrick would not give up. “Just a small experiment. To prove me wrong.”

That was a wise tactic. He knew no wife could resist the chance to prove her husband wrong.

“Alright, then.” Shelagh rolled her eyes and then knelt down in front of their daughter. “You’ll have to come kneel here as well, Patrick. No complaining. This is your experiment, not mine. Now Angela, darling where is Mama?”

The baby squealed, and cried, “Mama!” Her chubby arm reached for Shelagh’s face.

Trying unsuccessfully to hide the triumph on her face, Shelagh kissed the little hand  and moved to the table with the baby book.

Patrick, a bit crestfallen, decided that while ‘Dada’ may not have been the first word his daughter ever said, he was certain that it would be the second. And immediately.

“Angela sweetheart, say Dada. Dada.” The baby turned her curious eyes to his face and answered, “Mama.”

Now, if  Poor Patrick were in doctor-mode, he would have pointed out to his wife that the certainty of Mama being an actual word had just come under some doubt. But Patrick was not in doctor-mode, he was in full-fledged father-mode. Rather than listen to the sound of reason, he spent the better part of the next half hour repeating himself.

Shelagh watched from the kitchen as she finished the dinner preparations, and was the only one to greet Timothy when he returned from school.

“What’s that all about?” The boy asked, gesturing to his father and sister.

“Your father is upset Angela said her first word today, and he’s trying to make her say ‘Dada’ now.”

Timothy rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure either of you should be rushing to get her to talk, you know. All Angela has to do is look at either of you and she already has you both wrapped around her finger. Besides, once she starts talking, we’ll probably never get her to stop.”

Shelagh smiled sheepishly. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Timmy. Now go and get cleaned up, dinner will be ready in just two ticks.”

A cheer came from the sitting room.

“‘Dada!’ She said ‘Dada!’” Patrick exhaled, delighted.*

Timothy’s eyes rolled up to his eyebrows.”You two. When she learns to walk you’re going to be unbearable.”

 

*From a prompt by Like-an-Officer-and-a-Sergeant

 

A Small Price to Pay

“It was the last sunny day of that fateful fall.” A prompt from Like-An-Officer-and-a-Seargent helped get this little fic off the ground.


The air was crisp and clear as Timothy Turner ran through the streets towards home. His violin case banged against his knee in a way that would displease his music instructor, but the boy was undeterred. He wasn’t going to waste one more minute of this day away from home.

Dad would be waiting, Saturday surgery was surely over by now, and Shelagh would be there, too. They had promised him. Nothing would get in the way of their day together, Dad had promised. They would have lunch together, and then take the afternoon to explore the Cutty Sark. An entire day, just the three of them. Timothy picked up his pace.

He tore past Dad’s car, up the stone steps that led to the courtyard outside their flat, and came to a sudden halt outside the oversized door. He dropped the case on the ground and patted his pockets in search of his key. Finally, he was in and made his way through the maze of hallways to the flat, home in record time.

“Hello!” He called out as he hung his jacket up on the lowest hook. Shelagh’s coat was there next to his, her small green hat resting next to the phone.

Dad’s head poked around the corner from the kitchen, his eyes surprised. “Tim! You’re home early!” He disappeared for a moment, then stepped into the hall. “How was your lesson?”

Suspicious, Tim stepped around his father and searching for the source of the strangeness. Entering the kitchen, he saw Shelagh by the stove, her back to him. When she turned to greet him,  her cheeks were a bright pink.

“Shelagh? Are you ill?” He knew Shelagh’s health was still delicate, and while part of him was concerned, another more boyish part was disappointed. What if she had to go home? Their day would be ruined.

“No,” she answered. “Do I look ill?” Her voice was cheery, but she couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Not precisely, but you do look rather flushed.” He glanced at his father. “Doesn’t she look flushed, Dad?”

“Shelagh’s fine, Tim. Now go and put your violin away and clean up for lunch. We want to leave soon, don’t we?”

Distracted by the thought of the day trip, Tim grinned and turned back to his violin. As he passed back by the kitchen door, he heard Shelagh’s soft voice.  “Patrick, not now,” she giggled.

Timothy paused in the hallway, his eyes wide. He shook his head as if to clear an unwelcome thought, and entered his room. No, he thought to himself. It couldn’t be.  All week, Jack had teased him about his father getting engaged. Jack had older sisters, one already married with a baby on the way, so he thought himself quite the expert on “the birds and the bees,” as the older boy called it. Worried, Timothy reminded himself that for all his friend’s bravado, he usually knew as little as everyone else in the play yard. Whatever Jack said, his father and Shelagh would not do any “mushy stuff.” The thought was ridiculous.

By the time he returned to the kitchen, lunch was laid out, and Dad and Shelagh sat across from each other at the small table. The alarming shade of pink had faded from her cheeks, too, thank goodness. They would have their day, after all.

 

“It’s such a lovely day, I thought we’d walk to the ferry today,” Patrick announced as he helped Shelagh on with her coat.

Tim agreed readily. If they didn’t have the car, Dad wouldn’t have his medical bag with him.  No medical bag meant Dad was Dad, and not Dr. Turner.

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” Dad said, pulling a slip of fabric from his pocket. He unfolded it and held out a bright blue scarf for Shelagh’s inspection. “It’ll be chilly out there today, you should have this.”

Again, Shelagh’s cheeks bloomed a pale pink, sending off a bell in Timothy’s head. “Patrick, you shouldn’t. I’m quite fine as I am.”

“No,” Dad’s voice was gentle. “I should, Shelagh. I like buying you pretty things, Shelagh. I found it in the stalls near the market square this morning, and you do need a scarf. Please?”

For a fleeting moment, Timothy got the sense that neither knew he was there. It was strange, really, and he was reminded of that day they found Shelagh on the misty road. Was this what Jack meant?

Before he could consider that thought further, his Dad looked over at him. “Ready, Tim?”

Timothy rolled his eyes. “I’ve been ready, Dad. I was waiting for you two to stop staring at each other.” He led the way down the hall. “Really, you two do that a lot. It’s a bit weird.”

 

The ferry crossing was chilly, Tim admitted, but not so cold Dad needed to stand so close to Shelagh the whole ride.

“I’m blocking the wind, Tim,” his dad explained.

Later, as they strolled along the quay, Dad tucked Shelagh’s hand into the crook of his elbow. “The quay could be slippery.”

And when they climbed the ladders to visit the ship, Dad put his hands around her waist and lifted her down. “Always help a lady down the steps, Tim,” his father instructed. “It’s the chivalrous thing to do.”

Timothy wasn’t so sure so much chivalry was in order, especially when he came around a masthead to find them standing side by side, Dad’s arm around Shelagh’s shoulder. They were talking quietly as they looked out over the river, oblivious to the crowds.

He was willing to let such odd behavior slide, however. Dad answered all of his questions and seemed to have a boundless patience for all the exploring Timothy wanted to do. Shelagh laughed at his jokes and knew exactly when to offer him a few biscuits from her handbag  later in the day. Sitting in the Lyons tea house that evening, his belly full but willing to try one more cream cake, he couldn’t remember a better day. Not in a long, long time.

 

The trio strolled through the streets on the way home, happy and tired. Unsurprisingly, Dad and Shelagh walked arm in arm again, and Timothy wished for just a moment that he was small enough to fit between them, his hands in each of theirs. But he wasn’t little anymore.

They came to Shelagh’s corner first. Tim tried to keep the disapppointment from his voice.  “You’re going home now?”

Shelagh looked shyly at him, but before she could speak, Dad interrupted. “Come home with us, Shelagh, just a little longer. I’ll drive you home before the door gets locked.”

“Please, Shelagh?” Timothy added. “I could show you how to make those paper boats I was talking about.”

“If you’re certain,” she faltered.

“I am completely certain,” the boy asserted. Her eyes lit up with a secret thought, then met Dad’s for a moment.

“Well, then,”she tucked her arm in Dad’s elbow and reached out her hand. Timothy took it, and hand in hand, the three continued home.

 

Much past his bedtime, Timothy lay awake in his bed, happy with his thoughts. He glanced at the proud paper boat on his desk, ready for its maiden launch if the weather held. A good part of the evening had been spent trying to perfect the craft, with Shelagh tending to two papercuts on his fingers and Dad helping him learn to perfect the crease. All in all, a fine end to a fine day.

He grimaced. At least, it was mostly a fine evening. Now he had cause to worry that perhaps Jack was right after all. Saturday night was bath night, and though he tried to finish as quickly as possible, it seemed to take ages of time. Finally clean, combed and clothed, he returned to the sitting room, eager to spend a bit more time together before Dad took Shelagh back to the boarding house.

What he saw when he entered the room, however, made him stop in his tracks. He had left them straightening up the clutter of paper and tea cups and expected the room to be back in order when he returned. To the poor boy’s disgust, however, he found half-folded boats and crumpled paper scattered on the floor and worse yet, Dad and Shelagh…

They jumped apart, but there was no denying the fact that

They

Were

Kissing.

And not just a peck on the cheek, like he gave Granny Parker when they went for a visit. Dad– his father–was caught in a clinch with Shelagh that would make Jack’s sister blush. A full-on, arms hugging, head tilting, really-lasting-far-too-long kiss.

And Timothy was glad.

There, he had to admit it. He was glad his Dad was kissing Shelagh. Oh, he didn’t want to see it–that was revolting–but he knew that when Dad kissed Shelagh, they were happy. The kind of happy that Timothy had felt all day today.

Dad and Shelagh were going to get married, and everything would be different. Sure, there might be some of the beastly “mushy stuff” to deal with, but it seemed a small price to pay for having a happy family. And to be completely honest, Timothy admitted, it wasn’t so terrible.  Just as long as he didn’t have to see any of it. There were limits, after all.

 

Beyond the Grief

Before the great romance, there was a nun looking to heal her own spirit and a doctor and son who needed to rebuild their family.


 

She loved clinic days. She loved watching the mothers with their babies, catching up and comparing notes, the older children playing. The noise and barely controlled chaos of the weekly Mother and Baby Clinic was the beating heart of the world of Nonnatus. The drama of midwifery, with its tests of mothers’ courage and her own skills, fueled her mind, but it was here that she felt she made the most difference.   

For a few hours, women would come to her to soothe their fears and anxieties. They would share intimate pieces of their own lives, revealing the power of love in the ordinary life that she had renounced. Life in the Order had provided her with a community when she needed one, had provided a place to worship and serve her God apart from the world, but of late she had become aware of a need to be part of a larger world. At the Clinic, she could pretend for a short while that she was part of their world.

From her corner in the back of the Parish Hall, Sister Bernadette scanned the room for a particular face. She told herself it was merely concern for a lost soul, nothing more, but she knew that wasn’t entirely true. She felt a sense of connection with him that should not have surprised her.  The sadness she saw in his eyes touched a past sadness of her own.

Twenty years and more had passed since her own sadness, and at times, the sting was just as fresh as the day her mother died. She pressed her lips together in concentration and pushed her own pain to the side. Today he would need some help, and if he would accept it, she would offer it.

There, she saw him. He stood just inside the doors to the Hall, his face nearly expressionless. She sighed. His was a face that should smile, she thought. He had such a clever smile and his eyes would light up with humor if he let them, but he was working so hard to be brave that she rarely saw his face light up.

For a year now, Timothy Turner would come to the Tuesday clinic straight from school. He would spend the housekeeper’s day off tucked in a back corner, his nose in his schoolbooks, trying so hard to seem indifferent to the commotion before him. Perhaps because she saw so much of herself in him, Sister Bernadette saw beyond the facade. She could see his eyes follow children as they sought out their mothers to settle squabbles or ease childish indignities, and her own heart clenched in pain.

She glanced at the charts before her, trying to determine when she would be able to appear at his side to offer a bit of cheer. He would smile at her, and for a moment, they would each find solace with the other. Perhaps a shared joke about one of the boys, or a math test score shyly presented for the hoped-for accolades. A small moment between them to fill a tiny bit of the hole in his heart. If it meant more than that to her, she was unwilling to admit it.

“Sister, Mrs. Peters will need a special visit later today. I’m not happy about her blood pressure. Could you place her on the evening calls list, please?” Doctor Turner’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

Quickly, she turned her face to the chart in his hands, anxious not to be caught watching his son. “Certainly, Doctor. Nurse Lee will be able to see her this evening. Shall I put her down for tomorrow as well?”

When there was no response, she glanced up and saw his eyes on his son. The poor man, she thought.

“It’s a year today,” his voice was quiet, only for her ears.

“Yes,” she answered. Marianne Turner had been remembered by the Sisters during morning Lauds.

Doctor Turner stood quietly for a moment, his thoughts elsewhere. She thought he would turn from her, his thoughts kept to himself, when he confessed, “He hasn’t said anything. I wonder if he even remembers the day?”

She wanted to reach out and place her hand on his but held back. “I’m certain he does. He–It’s quite possible he’s afraid to mention it for fear of upsetting you. He’s always been such a sensitive child.”

Dr. Turner sighed heavily. “He’s only a boy. He shouldn’t be worrying about me.” He paused, “Was it like that for you, too, Sister? Forgive me, I shouldn’t pry…”

A compassionate smile crossed her face. “No, please ask me, I’d like to help. Yes, I think I was rather a lot like Timothy. But my father was quite different from you, Doctor. It was too difficult for him, and I was sent away to school.” Unable to help herself, her hand gently pressed his coat sleeve. “I know it must be so very difficult, but you will get through this.”

He rubbed his thumb nervously. “Thank you, Sister. It’s been a hard year, but I’ve been managing. Marianne wasn’t one to dwell on the past, she wouldn’t have wanted us to get stuck, but I am worried about Timothy. I was so wrapped up in my own pain for so long that I’m afraid I’ve done damage.” His eyes met hers. “Is it too late?”

The young nun felt a flood of tenderness for this man and his son, and she understood in that moment that it was more than grief that made them suffer. Their love for one another had made them afraid to touch wounds and in their pain, they had turned away from their own best source of comfort.

“It’s never too late where there is love. Doctor. Forgiveness is the greatest gift God has given us, but we must find a way to it ourselves.” Her eyes were soft as she looked over to the boy in the corner. “Pain doesn’t disappear, but if we learn to accept it, it becomes another layer in our love for one another. Don’t be afraid of it. Timothy needs you more than ever. I’m quite certain there’s no permanent damage. He’ll follow your lead in all things, Doctor, you’ll see.”

The lines on his face softened into a grateful smile. “Thank you, Sister. We’ll try.”

Their eyes met in a moment of understanding. Sister Bernadette felt her heart lighten and a smile lifted her face. She could feel God’s grace in that moment of comfort, and sent up a prayer of thanks.

Doctor Turner seemed a bit taller as he rolled his shoulders back in determination. “Ask Mrs. Peters to wait a moment, would you? I have something to do.”

She watched him cross the Hall to meet his son, and was pleased to see him take the chair beside him. Timothy looked, up, his face guarded as he listened to his father’s words, and a crease formed between her eyebrows in worry. It wouldn’t be an easy path back to each other, she knew. Grief could prove to be a formidable barrier.

In that moment, however, the boy’s face lit up with a smile.

“There,” she whispered to herself. “They’ve made a start.”

Pink Cheeks and Pyjamas

Fun fluff to keep my mind off the catastrophe to come on Sunday with the final episode of Series 5 of Call the Midwife.  This bit of fluff occurs in that rather nice hotel Patrick spotted on the way to the campground from Atlantis.


 

“Your turn, Timothy!” Shelagh emerged from the bathroom bearing a wiggly, towel-wrapped toddler.

Fresh from his own bath, Patrick looked up from the artful arrangement of damp clothes he was creating around the hotel room. “I’m glad we kept our suitcases in the car at Sunny Vista, or we wouldn’t have a single dry thing to wear. As it is, my socks may be ruined.” He looked down at the offending items, then sniffed  in disgust.

“Yes. That would be a shame,” Shelagh teased. Rubbing Angela dry she asked, “Please pass me Angela’s nightgown, dear?”

Patrick grinned and tossed the pink pyjamas. “You said you liked my outfit.”

“I most certainly did not. The shorts I could bear if they fit properly, but I do wish you’d let me buy you a pair of trainers.” Angela’s head popped through the neck hole of her nightgown and she laughed sleepily.

Patrick moved to sit next to the little girl. “Here, I’ll finish with Angela. Go get a quick bath in our room–you look like you could use it. We’ll read a quick story and this little angel will be asleep in no time.”

“I do admire your optimism, Patrick. Don’t forget–”

“Her bear, yes, I know. I have done this before, Shelagh.”

Shelagh chuckled. “I’ll see you in a little while then. Night-night kisses, Angela!” Mother and daughter exchanged a loud kiss. “Good night, Timothy,” Shelagh called through the bathroom door.

She paused at the hotel room door. “Thank you, Patrick. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

 

Over half an hour, four stories and three songs later, Patrick slipped into their room. Steam wafted from the open bathroom door, and he could hear the water splashing. Grateful for the chance to relax, he sat to remove his socks and sandals. His jacket and shirt followed, and he hung them over the last remaining chair in the room.

“This place looks like a laundry,” he muttered. The hotel clerk said he would call a local woman to take their camp-weary clothes in the morning. If they were lucky, the weather would brighten and they could unfurl the tents to dry as well.

He wondered, was the surgery in a similar state of upheaval, too? He trusted Sister Julienne’s judgment, certainly, but Dr. Godfrey did seem a bit off to him. With a deep breath, Patrick rubbed his face. “Let it go, Turner,” he said to himself. “You’re on holiday.”

“Did you say something, Patrick?” Shelagh stood in the doorway, wrapped in a large towel and her hair pulled up high. There were damp tendrils of hair clinging to her neck, and her skin glowed pink from the heat of the bath.

All thought of the surgery flew from his mind. He loved camping–really, he did–especially when the weather was a bit more favorable. But there was definitely something to be said for private hotel rooms with locks on the door.

He stood up and walked slowly towards his wife. Shelagh’s eyes grew round. “Oh, no, Patrick. The children might come in at any moment,” she protested.

He reached up and pulled the few pins holding up her hair. “No, they won’t. Angela’s out like a light and Tim has his book. We won’t hear from them until morning.” His hands came to rest on her shoulders. “There’s something to be said for the creature comforts.”

Shelagh’s hands slipped under his vest, her fingers gliding over his skin. “You promise no talk about ulcer clinics?’

A low groan escaped him. His arms pulled her close and his lips found the warm smooth skin of her shoulders. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Much later, sated and very grateful for the luxuries of a soft bed, they lay wrapped around each other. Patrick’s voice broke the silence. “Thank you, Shelagh.”

“Don’t thank me, you did most of the work this time,” she purred.

“Minx.” He pressed a kiss to her fingers. “All this rain and that dreadful tent. You’ve done all you can to keep up our spirits. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“It’s alright, dear. I know you worry, and you’ve been wet from the moment we got here. I’m simply glad we’ve had time together. Before you know it, Timothy will be too big to want to go away with us.” With one last squeeze, she sat up from the bed. She found her nightie and slipped it over her head, then tossed him his striped pyjamas. “We won’t have time to scramble for these when the children come in the morning. Oh, and these sheets are a tangle! Get up, Patrick, please, and help me set things to right.”

Patrick shuddered from the chill on his exposed body. With a resigned sigh, he scrambled into his night clothes and straightened his side of the bed. “At least, your cheeks are still flushed. You can act all bossy and efficient, Shelagh Turner, but I know the real you.”

Shelagh pulled the covers to her shoulders and turned to face her husband. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

A Perfectly Appropriate Dress

Thank goodness the Turners had the good sense to book a proper holiday, if for no other reason than that dress.

2016-02-23

 

“The weather forecast is for bright skies all weekend,” Patrick announced at the breakfast table. “It looks like we’ll have that sunny day at the seaside you wanted on Sunday, Shelagh.”

Still wrapped in her dressing gown, Shelagh put the finishing touches on a picnic basket. “That’s lovely, dear. I haven’t walked along the seaside in years.”

“You went to Brighton for your honeymoon, Mum. That’s not so very long ago. You must have had plenty of walks along the shore then,” Timothy reminded her. Distracted by his sister, he didn’t see the look exchanged between his parents, nor the blush that flooded his mother’s cheeks.

Patrick cleared his throat. “Yes, well, it’ll be nice to get in a few of those hikes in the forest we’d planned, Tim. Maybe this time, we can protect Angela from the S-Q-U-I-R-R-E-L-S this time.” He stood up and carried his dishes to the sink. “Everyone should put a move on it if we’re to leave on time.”

Shelagh glanced up. “Patrick, I’ve put the suitcases in the hallway, and the basket of food is all set. Please load the car, I need to go get dressed.”

“I still don’t see why we need to bring food along,” he muttered. “The hotel will feed us, Shelagh. This holiday is supposed to be a relaxing one for you, too.”

Shelagh thought of the three days of washing, ironing, packing and organizing, and smiled to herself. He did try, she knew. “Well, it won’t be very relaxing for anyone if the children get hungry along the way. It’s not enough to ruin our lunch in Southampton, but enough to keep us happy. And be careful, Patrick, don’t get your suit all dusty. You look very handsome, and I want to show you off. Timothy, could you please wash up the breakfast dishes? I’ll put Angela in her playpen.”

“At least I won’t have to do any washing up at the hotel.” grumbled the teenager.

Shelagh lifted her daughter from her chair. “If you like, we can find a nice cafe in town that could put your skills to work, dear.” She grinned and squeezed his elbow as she passed by.

A quarter of an hour later, Patrick entered their room. “Bags are packed, and the children are set to go, Shelagh. Almost ready?”

She stood up from her dressing table, her hair smooth in its twist, light make-up carefully applied, and her earrings adding an elegant glow to her face. “Almost, Patrick.” She turned her back to him. “If you could zip me up, please?’

For a long moment, there was no sound or movement from her husband, and Shelagh’s eyes danced. “Patrick?” she asked innocently. “My zip, please?”

She felt his fingers fumble, then tug the pull up the length of her back. Turning into his arms, she whispered, “Do you like it?”

Patrick swallowed thickly, and Shelagh pressed a kiss to his mouth. “It’s new,” she told him. “I thought I’d try a new look this week.” She pulled away, suddenly nervous. “It’s not too much?”

Patrick lifted her arm and twirled her slowly to fully appreciate the new look. The dress wasn’t so much a departure in style, but the cut emphasized his wife’s lovely form in ways that made his imagination spark.  “It’s perfect, Shelagh. You’re perfect.” He pulled her close against his body. “I’m so glad I booked two rooms.”

“Dad!” Timothy’s voice called from the doorway. “Could you two hurry? At this rate, we’ll be late for everything!”

Laughing, Patrick kissed his wife quickly. “That boy is going to get rich babysitting his sister this week.”

Shelagh smiled knowingly. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Patrick.”

Patrick watched as she walked down the hallway. The way she moved in that dress, he was completely certain she knew exactly what he was talking about.

 

Of Greengrocers and Costumes

Sometimes, a little fact will stick in our heads and take us to odd places. This fic is inspired by some bits of character background provided by Doctor Turner’s Casebook.  If I’ve gotten any details about British grammar school years, or fruits available to greengrocers in Northern Scotland in the 1930’s, or Victorian theater, it isn’t for lack of trying.


 

Chaos reigned supreme that afternoon. Timothy , gearing up for exams, needed quiet to study, whilst Angela was busy in the discovery of music, and determined to make as much noise as possible. Between preparing dinner, cleaning a lunchtime spill on Patrick’s new jacket, and preventing Angela from both banging the piano keys and crushing her wee fingers under the keyboard cover, Shelagh was exhausted. It was a weary woman that crawled into bed that night.

“Tomorrow will be easier,” Patrick promised, looking up from his book. “I’m off, and I’ll take Angela to the park. She needs a good long run-around to work off all that steam.”

Shelagh rolled over to face him and burrowed her face into his side. “Mmmph,” she breathed. “You’ll need to run her for another four months if we’re to head off the terrible two’s.”

Patrick stretched, then placed his book on his nightstand. “I’m afraid the two’s are nothing on the three’s, my love. We’re in this for the long haul.”

Shelagh’s eyes blinked wide as she watched her husband thump his pillow into shape. “Patrick, please humour me tonight. I only managed today by telling myself she’s getting it out of her system.”

“Alright, then. We’ll run her like a puppy every day and she’ll be through this in no time. I’m sure we won’t even have a single issue during her entire adolescence.”

Patrick chuckled, but when he glanced down at her he saw a gleam of tears in her eye. He switched off the lamp and pulled her back into his arms. “Here, now. A good night’s sleep and you’ll feel better, and that’s my official medical diagnosis.”

“I hope so,” Shelagh answered. They lay in the quiet dark together, and Patrick could feel the trials of the day slip from his own shoulders. “What can I do to help?”

“You do so much, already, Patrick, and I don’t know what I’d do without Mrs. Penney. I should be able to manage.”

“You do manage, my love. You manage beautifully. You’re tired, that’s all.” His hands slid up to knead her shoulder. “Roll over and let me rub your back.”

She shook her head and burrowed her face against his chest. “Tell me a story,” she whispered.

That surprised him. In the early days of their engagement, when there were still so many details to learn, they would take turns sharing stories from their pasts. The business of juggling family and work didn’t leave much time for it anymore. He missed it, now he thought of it, and so, it seemed, did Shelagh. “It’s your turn, I told the last one. Back at Christmas?”

Shelagh lifted herself up to look into his face. “You did not. It was my turn last, remember? The night it snowed, I told you about the Apple Brownie.”

Patrick’s shoulders shook. The “Apple Brownie.” He recalled how each morning of her childhood, a young Shelagh would wake to find a an apple, or an orange, or even once a mango (but almost always an apple) perched upon her chest of drawers. When Shelagh had first mentioned this, he hadn’t been surprised. Her father was a greengrocer, after all. If any house would have an abundance of produce, it would be the Mannion’s, and Patrick called shenanigans.

“Don’t be so sure you know me, Patrick Turner,” Shelagh scolded that night. “There’s much more to me than what’s on the surface.”

“Thank goodness for that,” he murmured in her ear. Years in a habit had effectively hidden many of his wife’s secrets from the world. One of the great joys of this marriage was the discovery of those secrets.

“Patrick, if you’re not going to listen, you shouldn’t be quite so hopeful.”

Schooling his features to an attentive expression, Patrick begged her to continue.

“It was always the loveliest piece of fruit, much nicer than the fruit left after the shop finally closed for the day. Sometimes the stuff Dad would bring up was so bruised it was only fit for stewing,” she shuddered. “I hate stewed fruit.

“When I was old enough to ask, my mother simply said that it must’ve been left by the Apple Brownie, and went about her day. I didn’t question her, and I don’t think I ever asked again.” A shadow passed over her face. “As I got a bit older, I started to suspect that perhaps my mother knew more about it than she let on. I thought I was very clever, and would set my alarm earlier and earlier to try to catch my mother out, but I never could. No matter what time I woke, the fruit was always there, waiting for me. It wasn’t until she became ill and then. . . later . . . that I realized it must have been my father all the while.

“Up until the day I left for school, never a day went by that I didn’t wake to a piece of fruit.” Shelagh’s voice drifted into quiet. “He never told me he loved me, my father. It wasn’t his way. But now I think perhaps he had his own way.”  

Patrick pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He knew better than most, better than Shelagh even, the struggles her father would have faced as a widowed father alone with a child. Hadn’t he himself hidden behind his practice during those first terrible months after Marianne’s death? But some force pulled him back to life; back to his son and opened his heart to Shelagh. Shelagh’s father never knew that redemption.

Angus Mannion was a man who knew love, but was afraid of it. A polished apple was the most he could give his daughter, and when his pain became too much for him, he found a new place for Shelagh at a convent school.

Lying next to her now, Patrick caught her hand and brought it to his lips. As long as it was up to him, Shelagh would never doubt she was loved. He searched his mind for a new story to share, but could think of none. She knew of the days spent running about the parks near Alder Hey Hospital, and how he would watch the wounded soldiers in their “hospital blues.” She knew of his determined studies, how he pushed himself to the top of his class in order to prove to his father that he was better suited to a medical career than the accountant’s life. As Shelagh’s confidence in their relationship grew, she had begun to ask questions of her own, and by now Patrick felt he had shared it all.

“Cranes,” Shelagh murmured. “Timothy made one for Angela this morning before school. He told me you taught him how. Where did you learn to make cranes?”

A laugh rumbled deep in his chest. “The musicals!” he exclaimed. “I haven’t thought about those for years!”

“What musicals?” Shelagh was alert again.

“At school. Liverpool Collegiate.” He chuckled again. “It was always Gilbert and Sullivan, every year.” His mind flooded with memories long forgotten.

“Patrick, you can’t stop there! Tell me more,” Shelagh begged.

“Every year the school would do a production of a Gilbert and Sullivan musical. When I was–oh, sixteen, maybe?” He nodded. “Yes. My fifth form year I was cast as Yum-Yum in The Mikado, and we were required to make cranes by the dozen for the prop department.”

“You most certainly were not! You’re making this up.” Shelagh pressed her lips together in disbelief.

“No, no, I’m not! My voice hadn’t changed yet, and there were no other older boys who could sing the soprano part. Even so, I could barely hit the notes they wanted me to sing, and then my voice broke right in the middle of dress rehearsals. Headmaster Brown was convinced I’d done it on purpose.”

Shelagh sat upright. “Patrick Turner, you’re teasing me.”

He looked up at her outraged face. “Honest, Shelagh, it’s true! Headmaster Brown started those productions before the Great War. By the time I was there, it was a tradition. I’m not sure why, it was always so hard to cast the soprano parts. But if you were tapped, you did your service to the school.

“Anyway, I was fitted for the costume and learned the part, and then my voice broke. I could only manage if I did a falsetto, and it sounded so ridiculous, the director gave the part to a second year. They never let me try out again, even though I have a perfectly reasonable tenor.”

Shelagh leant back against the headboard. “Well, I never expected that. A thwarted acting career. Patrick, imagine if you’d gone on to play the part? Everything would have turned out differently. How could we ever have met? You’ve shaken my belief in fate.” Her eyes danced with humour.

He tugged her back into his arms. “Oh, we would have found each other, my love. You would have seen me in some West End production and fallen in love with me from the mezzanine.”

“You’re ridiculous. I think you’ve made up this whole preposterous tale just to shake me from my mood.” She snuggled in closer.

“Man cannot live by hope alone, my love.”

 

The next morning, the mood in the house was brighter. Angela’s ambitions shifted from music to drawing, and she quickly added many crayon masterpieces to her portfolio. Timothy was less tense with a weekend to master Geometry proofs, and both Shelagh and Patrick hummed as they set out the morning meal.

Patrick pulled a face as he reached for the cereal box. “Cheerios? On a Saturday?”

“Angela prefers them to eggs, dear. Could you please set her up?” Patrick did not notice the mischievous glance exchanged between his wife and son.

Angela’s squeal of delight drew his attention to the bowl. There, wading amongst the Cheerios, were a pair of origami cranes.

“Ha, ha, very funny, Shelagh.” He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance.

“You never were in The Mikado, Dad! You would have said,” Timothy teased.

“I’ll have you know there are many mysteries in your old dad’s past, young man.” He placed a crane into Angela’s outstretched hand. His head came up with a jerk. “Hang on,” he muttered.

Sounds of boxes being moved travelled down the hall from the storage closet.

“Patrick, what on earth?” Shelagh called.

He popped his head out the doorway. “Don’t come in. I’ve just remembered something.”

Shelagh muttered under her breath. “I’ve finally gotten that room organized and you’ll make a mess in the work of a moment.” She sighed, her annoyance not entirely pretend, and returned to the kitchen.

Several minutes later she called down the hall, “Patrick, come and sit down. Your eggs will get cold.”

Patrick shuffled back and stood in the doorway for several moments before his family looked up. Collectively, they gasped.

Before them stood the family patriarch, stalwart and steady pillar of the community, trusted friend and confidante, bewigged and wrapped in a satiny yellow and blue kimono.

“They never collected the costume after they sacked me. I’d forgotten all about this old thing, it was with the boxes from my parents’ house. . .” Patrick’s voice trailed off as he looked up at the faces of his family.

Timothy paled. “Dad,” he whispered in the horrified voice only an adolescent can muster, “Take. Off. The. Wig.”

Patrick grinned wickedly. “I can sing “Three Little Maids from School Are We,” if you like.”

“No!” came the family chorus.

Pulling the wig off, Patrick continued, “Well, the wig is a bit scratchy, certainly,  but this might do very well for a dressing gown.” He stroked his thumbs across the hem of the wide sleeve.

At the sound of the postman, Timothy jumped up. “I’ll get that,” he announced.

“No, Tim, you finish your breakfast. I’ll get the post,” his father replied.

“Dad, no!” Timothy was aghast. “You can’t go to the door like that! You look . . .”

Patrick schooled his features into an expression of pained shock, an effort made more difficult by Timothy’s efforts to protect his father’s dignity.

“Dad, it’s fine, having a keepsake and all, but if you . . .if you went to the door in that people would not smile at you–or–or want to associate with you. Put it back in the box, Dad.” Worn from his efforts at parent-managing, Timothy went for the post.

The wicked grin returned as Patrick turned back to his wife. “He makes it so easy sometimes.”

Rolling her eyes, Shelagh buttered another piece of toast for Angela. “Yes, you’re very funny, dearest. Now go put that back in its box and eat your breakfast. Angela’s looking forward to her day in the park with you.”

“Oh, it’s not going back in the box, my love.” Patrick shrugged the robe off his shoulders and folded it over the back of his chair. As he took his seat, his eyes caught hers, their expression bring the color to her cheeks. “I’m quite. . . hopeful you’ll like to wear it yourself.”

 

Easing Fears

“I never know when I love you the most. But I sometimes think that these are the times that I love you best.”

This little scene from 5.4 has captured our fangirl hearts. I think we’ll be hearing about it and reading inspired fics for a long time.


 

“Come on, then.” Shelagh stepped back from her husband. “Bed, and no arguments.”

With a slow exhale, Patrick rose to follow her down the hallway to their room. He lingered as she stepped into the nursery to adjust the covers on their daughter, watching as her light hand felt for the rise and fall of Angela’s breathing. The toddler sensed her mother edging away from the cot and stirred. Shelagh tucked the well-loved bear in the crook of Angela’s elbow and immediately the child settled. After a moment, Shelagh kissed the tip of her finger and pressed it to Angela’s forehead, then moved quietly to the door.

He loved how Shelagh knew instinctively how to soothe their worries. Her touch, her voice, brought a sense of serenity to their home that made the hardest of times bearable. Without her, he knew his current conundrum would consume him. His fears for those poor babies and their families could quite easily take over all of his time as he searched for answers. Shelagh understood, but knew how to keep him centered.

He was surprised when rather than going on to their room, she stopped at Timothy’s door. A light tap, and she slipped into the room. The boy slept at an odd angle, his long thin feet hanging over the edge. Shelagh’s hand twitched, and Patrick knew she held herself back from fussing with the boy’s blanket. A moment spent shifting his books on his desk, and she left, closing the door behind her.

Patrick stepped close, a wry smile on his face. “He’s nearly a young man, Shelagh. I think he’s gotten beyond tucking in,” he teased.

Shelagh blushed, glancing at the floor. “I know. But when he sleeps, he looks so like the little boy who stole my heart, I can’t help myself.”

He squeezed her shoulder lightly, then slid his hand along her arm.  Reaching for her hand he brought it to his lips. “It’s a good thing he did. I’m not completely certain I would have won you if not for him.”

Her blushed deepened at his quick wink. “Patrick–” she chided half-heartedly.

He laughed, and led her by the hand to their room. Shelagh stepped over to her small vanity table and began to pull out the precise pins holding her hair. She ran her fingers through it, and reached for her hairbrush.

“No, let me,” Patrick asked. Their eyes met in the mirror, and he stroked the brush through her hair, smoothing it about her shoulders in the quiet of their room. Shelagh sighed and stood, wearing her “nurse face.”

“You’re exhausted, Patrick. There’s no reason for you to look at me so…hopefully. You need your rest.”

“I’m always ‘hopeful,’ my love.” He pulled her close to him and buried his face in her soft hair. He could feel Shelagh’s body start to relax into his, and pressed a kiss to her throat.

“Patrick,” she demurred. “It’s late.”

He grazed along her throat and whispered in her ear. “Do you think about how you love me often, my love?” His voice was husky. “When? Tell me. Do you think about how you love me when we’re apart, when I’m away?”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and felt the soft sigh escape her lungs. The strain of the evening’s work faded, his fears eased as their own private world surrounded them. In the quiet of their room, they found comfort in one another that night, and in the morning, would face those fears stronger together.

 

Christmas Trees and Mushy Stuff

After working on some difficult writing, I needed a break and wanted to write some Turnadette fluff (although don’t get me wrong. Good fluff is hard to write-as you may soon read). Alas, I was fresh out of ideas. So I turned to my fellow Nonnatuns on Tumblr and begged for prompts (hey, I’m not proud).

One came in almost instantly from Clonethemidwife:  “Shelagh teared up, looking at the silver tree on the table, and the natural tree in the corner, both decorated with love by her family. She looked down at the sleeping girl in her arms, and knew that her daughter’s childhood would be so much better than hers…

With mushy stuff and fluff and some minor feels as Patrick learns more about his wife by what she tells him she wishes for their daughter’s future.”

I played with the prompt a bit, so it doesn’t address Shelagh’s childhood, but there are two trees, a loving family and lots of mushy stuff. Plus you may find a few lines dropped in from the series. But I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.


 

As Christmas Day eased into Christmas Night, a gentle quiet descended on the Turner family. Timothy struggled to hide his yawns while his parents sat close together, Angela sleepily finishing her last feed before bed. It was hard to imagine the chaotic scene that had been just this morning.

“Mrs. B. didn’t like it much when you caught her under the mistletoe at Nonnatus, Dad. I heard her say later that she always thought you were too charming for your own good.” Timothy’s eyes rolled Heavenwards.

“Tim,” Patrick’s smug smile belied the scold.

“She did,” Tim asserted. “I saw her wink at Mrs. Buckle when she said it though, and she always makes sure there’s Battenburg for you, so I think she rather liked it.”

“Oh, no. Do I have some competition on my hands, Patrick?” Shelagh teased.

“Not likely, sweetheart. You make a lovely Battenburg cake yourself.” He leant down and pressed a kiss to her lips.

Tim groaned. “Really? Angela’s still eating, you’ll put her off her bottle. Why was there mistletoe in a convent, anyway? Seems an odd place for it.”

“I was wondering that myself,” Patrick mused. “Weren’t you in charge of the decorating this year, Shelagh?” His grin became wolfish.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Patrick,” his wife returned, blushing fiercely.

Tim reached into a nearby box of airplane model parts. stifling yet another yawn.

“Right, then. Bed for you, Tim. It’s been a long day, and you have the entire holiday to build airplanes and ride your new bike. No, no arguments.” Patrick stood and turned to his wife. “Shall I take her?” he asked.

“No, thank you, Patrick. I’ll let her doze just a bit before I bring her to bed.” Shelagh smiled. “I think we’ll sit here in the quiet for just a bit longer.”

Patrick nodded and followed Tim down the hall.

A small mewling sound escaped Angela’s lips as she released the bottle, then smacked her lips in her sleep. Shelagh touched a fingertip to the swollen upper lip. Was there a blister starting? No, just a drop of formula.

A sudden flood of emotions filled Shelagh’s heart. She teared up, looking at the silver tree on the table, and the natural tree in the corner, both decorated with love by her family.* How very different this Christmas was from the last. Joy replaced anguish, and with the addition of Angela, the family was complete.

She looked down at the sleeping girl in her arms.* How was it possible she was such a mix of the two of them? Barely two months old, Angela’s face revealed glimpses of both her father and mother. Would her hair stay fair, would her eyes keep their blue or turn greeny-brown like Patrick’s? Her neck was still not strong enough to show any discerning Patricky tilt, but Shelagh was certain Angela’s ears did stick out, just a wee bit.  

A tear escaped and trailed down Shelagh’s cheek. “You were ours from the start, Angel,” she whispered. The baby mewled again in response.

With Tim successfully in bed, his book a show of false staying-up-late bravado, Patrick returned to the sitting room. “Shelagh?” he asked, his voice husky. “What’s wrong?”

Her smile was wide, the tears glistening behind her glasses. “Nothing’s wrong, dearest. I’m just so very happy.”

Patrick released his breath in relief as he rejoined her on the gold sofa. “It’s been quite a time of it, hasn’t it?” he agreed. He slid his arm behind her shoulders, pulling her close to his side. “This is a much better Christmas than last year.”

Shelagh snuggled in closer. “Indeed. Timmy’s healthy, Angela’s safe with us, and I have the most wonderful husband I could ever imagine. I am a very blessed woman.”

“I wouldn’t say very blessed,” Patrick denied, his mood darkening. “I almost ruined everything. What if the Agency hadn’t approved us? I kept such secrets, Shelagh. It was you–you were the one that kept us together. I can’t imagine what would have become of us all if it hadn’t been for you.”

Shelagh reached up carefully and turned his face to hers with her free hand. “Listen to me, Patrick. That most certainly is not true. So much happened this year, and yes, there was sadness. I thought my heart would break in two when I learned of my diagnosis, and we did have our own struggles together. But this is important. I wouldn’t change a single moment of it. Not one. God put us on this road together for a reason. If we changed even one thing, we wouldn’t be here today.”

“Shelagh-”

She pulled his face to hers and pressed her lips to his, her thumb caressing his lined cheek. The kiss deepened and Patrick released some of his guilt.

“It wasn’t me, Patrick. It was both of us. It was hard, but you came back to me. I made mistakes, too, don’t forget. We learned to trust each other in ways we never could have if we hadn’t gone through all that.”

Patrick nuzzled his nose against her temple. “I’m not certain you’ll convince me of that entirely, sweetheart, but I do know I would have done anything to make things better. You’ve given me so much.” He pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “I thank God for you.”

The moment was broken by the sudden squall from the infant between them, then the abrupt burst of wind. Almost instantly, Angela settled back down to sleep. Laughing, Patrick reached for his daughter. “You, little girl, are very lucky you’re about to go into your cot. I am about to do all sorts of mushy things to your mother, and you most certainly would not approve.”

Fortunately for the infant girl, she had no idea what her father was talking about.

*italicized lines taken from Clonethemidwife’s prompt.