This fic begins during s6e8, as Shelagh tells Patrick her decision about her labor and delivery. You’ll see I’ve cribbed that scene for continuity’s sake. Obviously, the italicized first section of this story does not belong to me. Nor does the entire world of Call the Midwife. I’m just happy to spend time there.
Shelagh rested back on her arms as she settled into an awkward sitting position on their bed, her shod foot in his hand. He knew this may not be quite comfortable, but it was certainly better than taking off her own shoes. Besides, he enjoyed these little moments when he could take care of her. His brain began to catalog facts as he worked the laces free. The baby had most definitely dropped in the last few days and Patrick wondered if his wife was starting to feel any increased pressure on her bladder. Her torso was short enough that even this change wouldn’t help much with the difficulty breathing she sometimes felt.
“I do feel so much calmer since I gave up work, she assured him. There was a hitch in her voice that pinged something in his subconscious, and he tensed as she continued. “I think you might feel the same if you could just be my husband and not my doctor, too. And I think it…It might be best if you don’t attend the birth.”
His stomach lurched. “But it never occurred to me that you wouldn’t want me there!”
“I want you there as soon as the baby’s born,” she pacified, “but we’ve been in too many delivery rooms together before today. Solving problems. Preventing disasters.”
“And we do prevent disasters! We’re a team.”
She seemed unmoved by his argument, and he tried to read her face. He knew that expression–he’d seen it often enough when she had to give bad news to a patient or tell Timothy to get back to his studies.
“Patrick, I know that you’re looking at my ankles and thinking that they’re swollen.”
His answer was reflexive. “If you’re not experiencing headaches, and there’s no sign of proteinuria, then it could just be the normal oedema of late pregnancy.” Too late, he realized he’d proven her logic.
“See, the minute you look at me, you go to work.,” she rejoined.
“No,” he admitted, his heart swelling. “The minute I look I you, I’ll give you everything you ask for.” Discussion over, he slipped the second shoe from her foot.
“There,” Shelagh said, sliding her feet into the slippers her husband held out for her. “Thank you, Patrick.”
He glanced up from under his furrowed brow. Not be there at the delivery? It didn’t seem he had much choice in the matter. Shelagh’s bossy streak was in full force these last few weeks. First the new house…then the home birth…now this? He opened his mouth to protest but closed it in resignation.
Shelagh leant forward and caressed his cheek. “Patrick dear, don’t look so glum. You’ll see I’m right, I promise.” She leant down and pressed a kiss to his lips. With a ladylike grunt, she extended her arm for assistance. “Up, please. Those potatoes are not going to boil themselves!”
Patrick watched as she left the room. Her back must definitely be hurting a bit now, he thought. The baby was certainly settling lower. He’d have to keep an eye out for any early signs of–
“Patrick,” Shelagh called gently from the door. “See what I mean? You’re doing it right now!” Her smile was kind. “Come on then, Doctor. Help your pregnant wife down the stairs like all the other husbands.”
The evening air was crisp in the back garden, and Patrick was grateful for the cardigan Shelagh had handed him after dinner. He stood by the trash bins and looked up at the stars. It’d be clear the next day or so, he thought. Good. The children needed to be outside, needed to get some air and sunshine if they were to head off the influenza outbreak he’d heard of in other parts of London. It wouldn’t do for them to get ill, especially with Shelagh being so far along in her pregnancy.
A laugh drew his attention back to the house, and through the large glass doors, he could see Shelagh and Angela sitting together with the pile of books the little girl had chosen that afternoon at the lending library. Timothy sat in the corner of the room, finally finished with his studies for the night and flipping through a new comic book. The sight of his family should ease his mind, he knew, but Shelagh’s words this afternoon still stung.
Not be in the room when she delivered? He’d never even thought that was a possibility. He’d taken for granted that Shelagh would want him there.
God, he wanted a cigarette. His nerves were close to the surface, and a long slow pull of smoke into his lungs would be just the thing to calm them. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned away from the glow of the windows.
There were still so many questions about this pregnancy that remained unanswered. They’d accepted the near-miracle of its conception (though if he were honest, simply applying the Laws of Probability had made it a much more likely event than mere medicine could predict). Considering the scarring left behind by the TB and the resulting procedure that had given them heartbreaking news three years ago, he wasn’t even convinced the baby should be delivered here at home at all, but Shelagh had been determined. His maternity hospital–his efficient, comfortable, safe maternity hospital was not the place for her delivery.
She’s just showing her old prejudice for her district nursing days, he groused. There was absolutely no reason why she shouldn’t deliver at the hospital. Maybe she was just a bit shy to be in the regular patient population? He could promise her a private room. At the hospital, they’d be ready for any possible emergency.
His legs grew a bit unsteady and he dropped onto the nearby bench. What if there was an emergency? If he couldn’t be in the room, how could he be certain any and all warning signs would be noted? Sister Julienne was a talented midwife, but–
The sound of the glass sliders opening sliced through his worried thoughts. Tim approached and took the place next to him. “Mum’s really getting close now, isn’t she?” The boy’s deepening voice brought a crooked smile to his father’s face.
“Yes, very close. We should expect things to start changing around here anytime.”
“I suppose.” Tim’s voice was low. “Some things aren’t likely to change, I reckon. Mum’s putting everything in order, planning everything. She’s just told us that we’re to go to Granny Parker’s when the time comes, and you’ll work at the surgery until it’s all over. Just like it’s a regular day for you.”
“Yes,” Patrick answered cautiously. “Your mother prefers it that way.”
“But what about you, what do you prefer? I should think you’d want to be at the birth of your own child. You’ve been there for half the births in Poplar for the last twenty-five years.” He straightened his spine. “I don’t need to be shuttled off to Granny’s as if I were a child, Dad.”
Patrick hesitated. He’d need to show support for Shelagh, but Tim was no fool. “Tim, when a woman gives birth, things change a bit for her. It’s rather scary, and your mother copes with that by creating a sense of order. It’s important that we help her feel safe, and if that means I can’t be with her at her time, I’ll just have to accept that. You know Sister Evangeline wouldn’t let me in the room when you were born, either.” He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt.
A look of empathy passed over the young man’s face. “You’re not too happy about it, are you?”
No, his son was certainly no fool. “Not at all.”
Two sets of shoulders lifted in parallel sighs of resignation. “Women can be a mystery, Tim, especially regarding childbirth. You know, when Mummy was getting close, she decided that she needed to bake. I have no idea why, but she insisted that if she made enough cakes, she’d be ready for you. In that last month, she must have gone through twenty pounds of flour. We couldn’t eat it all, so she’d give most to Nonnatus.” He leant in conspiratorily. “To be honest, I think Sister Monica Joan was more relieved than I was when you were born. Your mother was a terrible baker!”
Tim chuckled softly. “I remember her cakes. I was always glad when Mrs. B sent one over to us on special occasions.”
After a long moment, Tim broke the silence. “You like that Mum gets so fussy about the details, don’t you? All her lists and plans?”
“What do you mean?”
Tim screwed his face in concentration, the right words eluding him. He licked his lips nervously and said, “You like being taken care of.”
Patrick blinked. “I hope I take care of her, too.” His voice was guarded.
“Well, yes, but you like being managed by her. The surgery is never organized when she’s away, and you’re always happy to have her run the house.”
“I’m not sure what you mean, Tim.”
Timothy shifted on the bench. “The words aren’t coming out right. I mean, I know you married Mum because you love her, but isn’t part of you glad she takes care of all those things?”
Patrick arched his neck and looked up at the night sky. “I’m not certain I ever really thought of it that way, Tim. I didn’t fall in love with Mum because I needed someone to help with the washing up.”
“No, I suppose not,” Tim admitted. “But it got me wondering, that’s all.”
“We’re all on edge, Tim, that’s all this is. Mum has good reasons to keep the house quiet when the time comes. We have to respect them.” He leant in again. “Besides, you’re not really interested in being here, are you? You cringe when we even talk about it. You wouldn’t be able to escape it if you were here!”
Timothy grimaced. “No, I don’t really want to be here, but do I really have to stay at Granny Parker’s the whole time?”
Patrick’s mouth twisted in a half-smile. Teasingly, he reached out to rub his son’s head. “No, I suppose you could spend some of your time out trying to impress the ladies. I’ll talk to Granny and let her know you’ll be out a bit. How’s that?”
“Dad!” Tim shrugged away, laughing.
Shelagh’s voice broke into their camaraderie. Neither had noticed that she’d come up behind them. “You two look like you’re having a good time,” she said.
“Now, I hate to be a spoilsport, but it’s getting late, Timothy. You said you needed to call your friend Alan about a question on your trigonometry. You don’t want to wait too long. I’m sure his parents would not appreciate a phone call in the middle of the night.”
Patrick studiously avoided his son’s eye as he headed back in the house. Instead, he extended his arm and Shelagh came up close against him.
“I have a feeling there was something going on out here I don’t quite understand,” Shelagh said.
Patrick pressed a kiss against her smooth hair. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love,” he teased. “Just man-talk–nothing to worry about.”
She slid her hand over his waist and toyed with the buttons of his cardigan. “I think Tim wasn’t very happy about our decision to send the children to Granny Parker’s when the baby comes,” she admitted.
Our decision? Patrick bit his lip to keep from saying the words. “I’ve had a talk with him, and he understands better now,” he told her.
“Truly? I was so worried you’d both think I was being selfish.” She looked up into his downturned face. “You’ll see, dearest. It will be for the best.”
Angela’s voice came through the glass door. “Mama, I finished my Horlicks!’
“Well, that’s me,” Shelagh pushed off from his side. “Coming, Angela!”
At the doorway, she turned back. “Are you coming, Patrick? It’s getting chilly out here.”
Smiling to himself ruefully, Patrick gave a brisk rub to his arms and followed his wife into the house.


