A Bath Can Fix Anything

The key to the front door was stuck again. Heaving a sigh of frustration, Shelagh Turner blew a wisp of hair out of her eyes and muttered, “Of course. Tickety-boo and marvelous.” She carefully let the net bag of groceries drop to the floor and shifted the wiggling toddler on her hip. “Angel girl, please stay still for Mummy.”

The day had been difficult from the start. After a restless night, Angela was up well before dawn, ready to play. Shelagh rose with her and spent the next two hours keeping her daughter occupied, but moderately quiet. By the time Timothy and Patrick were up and about, Shelagh was already worn out.

“Just cereal today, I’m afraid,” she apologized. “And there’s only enough sugar for one cup of tea.”

Patrick watched his wife at the sink, her shoulders already drooping. He stepped behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, his nose in her loose hair. Shelagh turned quickly and buried her face in his jumper.

“That’s for you. I made it through rationing with no sugar, I reckon I’ll be able to go a day without, Shelagh, love.” He patted her shoulder. “Maybe she’ll take a long nap today. You can rest, too.”

Capable Shelagh stepped back, resolute. “No. Naptime is when I get dinner prepared and straighten up before you come home.” Baby or no baby, there was work to be done.

“You don’t have to straighten up for me,” Timothy chimed in as he entered the kitchen. “And I’m always up for fish and chips.”

“I don’t straighten up for you, dear. I straighten up because of  you. And fish and chips is fine for the odd meal, but you’d have frying oil in your veins if we had it as much as you’d like,” his mother rallied.

 

Now, standing on the landing outside the flat, desperate for a cup of tea, Shelagh wished for the confidence she felt this morning. Another jiggle at the lock proved unsuccessful and she made a face. Lowering Angela to the floor, she said, “Stay here, please, dearest. Mummy has to-”

Angela turned and ran straight for the stairs, her tiny feet thundering on the floor. Fortunately, Mrs. Brooke, the widow from down the hall who occasionally stayed with the little imp, was there in time to stop a headlong flight to the bottom.

“Here, now, dearie, where do yer think you’re going?” She scooped the toddler up and carried her, wriggling and screeching, to her mother. “One of those days, eh, Mrs. Turner?”

“Yes. Indeed.” With a last twist, the door finally opened. “Thank you, Mrs. Brooke. She’s definitely getting a head start on her ‘terrible two’s,’ I’m afraid.” Shelagh leant against the open door jamb. “Angela’s usually so good for me when we have to do some shopping. Today it was all I could do to keep her out of the pickle barrel.”

“That’d be a treat. Pickled Angela!” The widow tickled Angela’s tummy. “Don’t worry so, Mrs. Turner. She’s a sweetheart, this one. Everyone has a bad day.” Handing Angela back to her mother, she added, “And the two’s aren’t what you have to worry about. It’s the three’s. That’s when their little minds get devilish-like!”

With a half-hearted attempt at a smile, Shelagh carried her bundles into the flat.

Lunch didn’t go much better. Angela, it seemed, was not in the mood for reheated leftovers from last night, nevermind that on most days, she loved bangers and mash. The groceries, or more specifically, the pot of raspberry jam, that still sat on the kitchen table waiting to be put away, were much more to her liking.

“No, Angela. No jam. Jam is for Daddy.”

Angela complained mightily and kicked her feet against her chair.. While her vocabulary was somewhat limited, the meaning was clear. Jam was for Angela.

Shelagh sighed. “No, sweeting, no jam for Angela. Now, please let’s finish our lunch?”

After another ten minutes of futile toddler feeding, Shelagh gave up. She looked around the messy kitchen and tried to gather the energy to clear away lunch. Angela whimpered, obviously over-tired, and slipped her thumb  into her mouth while her other chubby hand played with her soft blond hair. She blinked, and her heavy eyelids reminded Shelagh of Patrick when he fought a catnap.

She reached over and stroked the baby’s cheek. “Rough day today, isn’t it, Angel girl?” Angela’s thumb popped out of her mouth,pushed out by a squeal of delight.. “Oh, you don’t play fair. A wee beastie all morning and now that smile?” Shelagh grinned back and stiffly stood up.

“Well, then, let’s get you out of that chair. We’ll have this kitchen cleaned up in a jiffy.”

Later, Shelagh would point to that moment as her big mistake. She placed Angela on the floor and handed her the set of measuring cups.”There you are. Now play nicely while Mummy gets to work.”

Shelagh Turner thought that maybe, the day had taken a turn for the better.

She was wrong.

The phone rang and after a quick glance back to ensure that Angela was happily occupied, Shelagh went to answer it.

“Turner residence.”

“Fighting the good fight, sweetheart?” Patrick’s voice warmed her tired body.

“Patrick.,” she sighed.  “Yes. We did the shopping, but I’m afraid we had to come home without stopping at the cleaners. Someone wasn’t very happy about staying in her pram.”

Light laughter came over the phone line. “You’ll look back on this and smile one day, Shelagh, I promise.”

“Well, that’s easy for you to say. You’re safe and sound in your surgery.”

“Yes.  Shelagh, I’ll probably be home late tonight. Walker’s stuck at the London.”

Shelagh closed her eyes, her head down. She was disappointed, but she didn’t want Patrick to feel badly. Timothy could help, of course, but he was just a boy, after all. He shouldn’t have to do so much. Oh, well. The worst day still only had twenty four hours.

“I understand. Duty calls. I’ll leave dinner for you. But dearest, wake me when you get in.” No matter how long the day, she would want to see his face.

“All right.” His voice grew soft. “I know you’re having a bad day, sweetheart, but you doing marvelously at this. You’re a wonderful mother. We all love you so very much.”

Tears pricked behind her eyes. “Thank you, Patrick. Just not so marvelous today.”

“Seems all right now. Nice and quiet,” he observed.

“Yes, I gave her-” Shelagh turned back to the kitchen door. “Oh, Angela! Patrick, I have to go. It’s all right, it’s just-oh, not the-” She hung up the phone.

Standing in the middle of the room, holding the jam pot above her wide open mouth, was the reddest, stickiest, most incredibly jammiest little minx ever before seen on the streets of Poplar. Somehow, the eight ounce pot of jam had multiplied into a veritable ocean of preserves that completely flooded the kitchen (or so it seemed to poor Shelagh).

About to sharply reprimand her daughter, Shelagh’s breath caught in her throat when Angela turned to her mother and laughed joyfully. Shelagh could feel all the tension release from her body with that one sweet expression.

“Look at you!” she teased. “Oh, aren’t you just the sweetest thing.”

And then the giggles hit. Shelagh started to laugh so hard that she sat on the floor beside her daughter, adeptly side stepping the puddle of the jam. Angela’s jammy hands wrapped around her mother’s neck and she planted a loud, wet, sticky kiss on Shelagh’s cheek.

“Oh, I love you, too, Angel girl. You are the most marvelous, wonderful wee beastie there ever was.” Shelagh rubbed her nose against the gooey cheek and tried to catch her breath.

The two sat there in each others arms, Angela sucking her sweet thumb, her raspberry fingers twined in her mother’s hair.

Shelagh looked at the mess and grinned. Clearing up could wait. There were more important things to do. “Well, then. I think it’s time for a midday tubby, don’t you, sweetie?”

Angela’s head popped up. “Tubby!” She cried, clear as a bell.

Hand in hand they walked down the hall. Shelagh smiled down at her daughter. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. A bath can fix anything!”

Two hours later, Patrick met Timothy going up the stairs to the flat.

“What are you doing home?” Tim asked bluntly.

“Nice to see you, too, Tim. I got off my rounds. Mum’s had a day.” As usual, the front door key did not stick for Patrick.

Opening the door quietly, they cautiously entered the flat. If Angela was finally asleep, her mother would not thank them to wake her.

No lamps brightened the late afternoon light of the flat. Patrick frowned. “Their coats are here,” he noted quietly. He stepped down the hall and saw the mess in the kitchen.

“Blood!” whispered Tim, horrified (or delighted? One could never tell with a twelve-year-old boy).

“No, Tim. It’s not blood.” But Patrick was concerned.

“How do you know?” asked the skeptical son.

Patrick grimaced and rolled his eyes. “Stay here,” he ordered.

On quiet tiptoes, Patrick peeked in the empty nursery, then crossed the hall to the master bedroom. Wishing he would finally remember to oil the hinges on the door,  he gingerly pushed the door open a few inches.

Lying on the bed in a cuddle were his wife  and daughter, pink and clean from a bath. Shelagh’s hair lay damply on her shoulders, while Angela’s curled about her ears. Against the blue bedcovers, they looked like angels.

Just as quietly, he returned to the kitchen. Sometimes, he thought, his son was quite thoughtful. Timothy knelt on the floor scrubbing the red mess.

“No jam for tea today,” he complained.

Patrick nodded. “Good lad. Here,” he reached into his pocket and drew out coins, handing them to Tim. “Go down to the chip shop and pick up some dinner.”He shrugged off  his coat and began to roll up his sleeves. “Get extra. I have a feeling they’re going to be very hungry when they wake.”

The Paper Anniversary, Chapter 4

Previous Chapter

As Shelagh prepared for bed, she tried to ignore the coil of tension she felt growing in her body. Patrick sat up in bed, reading, or at least, she thought, he wanted her to think he was reading. As much as Patrick wanted the discussion closed, she knew it couldn’t be. She wanted to please him, but she could not pretend the matter did not exist.

She pressed her lips together in frustration as she brushed out her hair. It would be much easier if the evening followed her plan. Timothy’s near miss with trouble had added a layer of complication she would have preferred to avoid.

Nervously, she stood to remove her robe and slid into their bed beside him. Almost immediately, Patrick closed his book and reached to turn off his lamp.

“Good night, love,” he said.

Shelagh was not deceived by his light tone. Her husband was starting to build up an invisible wall around himself, one she could almost physically feel. Her mind went back to the dark days of  last autumn, when it felt as if everything was going wrong. Once her own anger subsided, Patrick had slipped into a polite coolness and so much seemed to be lost.

She sighed quietly. She had felt so helpless during the dark weeks of their estrangement. Patrick retreated so far away from her that she worried they wouldn’t find their way back. Her efforts at reconciliation went unheeded, until one night he came home, ready to let her back into his heart. Somehow they had managed to reach across the barrier to find each other.

It had been brave of him, she knew. Now it was her turn to be brave.

Shelagh slid under his arm and pressed herself against him, her head on his chest. Trying to find a crack in his armor, she willed him to accept her gesture. After a momentary pause, Patrick responded and tightened his arm around her. Relief began to ease her stress.

“I’m sorry, Patrick. I didn’t mean to upset you.” she told him. “I hate it when we argue.”

She heard him exhale, his tension unwinding a bit as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I don’t even know what we were arguing about. I think the drama with Tim just wound us up, that’s all. A good night’s sleep and everything’ll be right as rain.”

“Yes,” she answered quietly. “I suppose so.” She rubbed her nose against his chest, breathing him in. Her fingers gently stroked his pyjama top, its soft cotton soothing her.

“That’s my girl,” Patrick murmured.

She’d always loved his pet name for her, how it made her feel cared for, adored. Those first weeks after leaving the convent, when she so felt so desperately adrift, it had given her a place in her new world. Patrick loved her; she was his girl. They belonged to each other.

She loved how he made her feel safe. His self confidence and his ability to take charge had always impressed her. Patrick was a man others turned to for guidance, and he was used to others following his advice.

Shelagh’s brow began to wrinkle. His soft words struck her differently tonight. He almost sounded paternal. Her heart skipped a moment. Is that how he thought of her, a beloved ingenue to be indulged? Did she make it easy for him to slip into this role with her? Is that what he wanted of her?  Is that what she wanted of him?

Shelagh breathed deeply, gathering her strength. “We have to be able to talk of difficult things, dearest. We promised each other we wouldn’t hide behind silence.” She could feel his body go rigid again, the wall getting thicker.

“Shelagh, we’re both tired. Save it for another time.” Patrick’s voice was chilly.

She wanted to heed his words. She wanted to hug him to her, forget her worries. They were so happy. Why let this come between them? He worked so hard, had so many worries. Perhaps she should let the matter rest.

“See, better already,” Patrick’s voice interrupted her thoughts. He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips.

Shelagh pushed up, resting her forearms on his chest. “Patrick, dearest,” she began nervously, “I’m sorry, but it’s not better. We’re simply brushing this aside.” She could feel her courage falter as she met his gaze.

His eyes clouded over, shielding his thoughts. “Shelagh-”

She could see him resisting her, unwilling to open up. He never got angry with her, indeed he rarely showed even mere annoyance. But was there a false safety in that?

The wall between them became unbearable and Shelagh let instinct take over. Above all things, the barrier must come down. She slid up higher on his chest and pulled his head to hers. Her lips pressed to his softly, caressing. She could feel his resistance and pushed beyond it. Between gentle tugs on his lips, she whispered, “I love you, Patrick. Don’t go away from me. Please let me in.”

His mouth softened under hers and she deepened the kiss. She pressed tighter to him, needing to be closer, and her hands slid down his neck to grasp his shoulders. Resistance gone, Patrick’s arms wrapped around her and he turned, pressing her body into their bed.


Later, Patrick chuckled into her ear. “You always surprise me, sweetheart.”

“Hmmm. It’s no surprise, dearest.” Shelagh opened her eyes and smiled. “I love you so very much.” She stretched, her soft body against his, her feet pressing to the tops of his.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, though,” she admitted.

Patrick picked up her hand from his chest, intertwining their fingers. “I’m glad it did.”

She nodded, watching their hands. “Yes. You were so far away.” She released him, pushing up on his chest to meet his eyes squarely. “We have to be able to disagree, Patrick. Wait-let me say this and then we can let it rest for a bit, I promise.”

He sighed heavily, sitting up higher against the pillows.

Shelagh sat up as well. On her knees, she sat just even with him. She took a deep breath and looked him squarely in the eyes. “I think your cough is a problem, dearest, and I think you do, too. I think you were so angry tonight because you don’t want Timothy to smoke, ever.” Patrick made to interrupt. “No, let me finish. It’s the one area you don’t lecture your patients on, but you know as well as I do how very harmful it can be.”

She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek. “You know how much I love you, Patrick. I don’t want anything to harm you. Just consider it, that’s all I’m asking.”

Patrick’s eyes ran over her, taking in the tousled hair, her swollen lips, the sheet pulled up as modestly as she could and nodded. “I tried once. To quit. After the war, after-when I came home. I thought if I could stop smoking, it would be another way to leave it all behind me.” He smiled crookedly. “I reckon I can be a bit thick.”

Shelagh smiled back at him and pushed her fingers through his hair. “Perhaps a bit. Patrick dearest, trust me. Don’t hold it in. If we need to, someday we’ll have a full stop shouting match. And we’ll survive.”

Reaching out, he pulled her onto his lap, a tangle of sheets and pillows. “Hmmm,” he groaned into her neck. “Especially if we can make up so nicely.”

“That’s a promise we can definitely keep, lovely man.”

Patrick lifted his face, suddenly serious. “I can’t promise about the smoking, though, Shelagh. It’s been a long time. But I will consider it.”

Her arms slid back around his neck. “I know. And I promise not to nag about it. Just as long as we keep talking.”
“Shhh. You talk too much,” her husband murmured.

Next Chapter

Unexpected Intimacies

The pre-dawn light was only just beginning to break through the heavy curtains, a sliver of grey in the deep darkness of the bedroom. Wide awake, Shelagh lay as still as possible, listening to the even, deep breaths of her sleeping husband.

She stared at the ceiling, unsure of what to do. For her entire adult life, she had begun each morning with prayers and devotions. These last few mornings since their marriage, however, she had awakened to find Patrick watching her. She smiled as she remembered the look in his eyes, their invitation easily accepted.  Prayers had come later.

This morning she found she lacked the concentration necessary for prayer and Shelagh turned her head to watch her husband’s face as he slept. He looked different, younger. The lines were smoother, his face tranquil. He looked content. She liked to think she knew the reason for this; that she was the reason for this.

During their extended courtship Patrick had shown a tenderness and patience with her, giving her the time she needed to become comfortable with the physical side of their relationship. Ignorant of passion for so long, she had been too preoccupied with the dawning awareness of her own desires to note his response.

Since their marriage, she was more aware of his eagerness for her and finally understood how he must have held back. His desire for her gave her a sense of power she never expected. It excited her, made her feel things she never had before. Patrick needed her, and she was happy let him take fulfilment in her.

He stirred, and the movement drew her eyes to the column of his neck. She watched as his pulse throbbed rhythmically, her breathing growing heavier as she imagined pressing her lips there. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she tore her eyes from that spot. The path they took along the length of his throat, shadowed by the night’s growth of beard, only increased the growing urgency she felt and was unable to ease.

She closed her eyes again, willing her body to calm. If she could just focus her mind on her meditations, she thought, she could get these feelings under control. It had worked in the past, those long months when she tried to deny her feelings for Patrick, and even during their courtship, when she was learning the physical symptoms of her love.

She resisted the urge to stretch her legs, recalling the delight of the unexpected intimacy of the soles of her feet pressed to the smooth skin at the top of his. She was surprised by the things that triggered her response to him. The feel of the sharp wings of his scapula under her fingers, the long plane of his back, even the sound of his exhale after he drew on a cigarette made her body thrill. His voice would hit a certain timbre, and suddenly her heart would pound.

Trying to calm herself, Shelagh breathed deeply and inhaled his scent. His body, so close, warmed her. Her eyes flickered open, and she shyly studied the firm rounded muscle of his shoulder, the smooth contours of his chest. If he were awake, she knew he would reach for her, make her aware of his desire and gratify her own.

Would he be shocked if he knew what she was feeling right now, she wondered. In the pale light, she blushed at the thought of initiating lovemaking. She couldn’t. Not yet. For so long she had sublimated physical desire into meditation and prayer, service to others. She wasn’t ready to consider this new role.

“Good morning,” he whispered. His hand came up to tangle in her hair, tilting her mouth up for his kiss.

Shelagh exhaled, a sigh of relief, and followed his lead.

The Paper Anniversary, Chapter 3

Previous Chapter

The high drama of dinnertime quickly dissipated into the usual bedtime chaos.

“Patrick, if your patients ever saw you in my apron you’d likely lose half your practice!” Shelagh leaned against the doorway watching her husband and daughter make a mess of her clean kitchen.

“Then it’s a good thing we don’t let my patients have free range of the kitchen at bathtime, isn’t it?” His sing-song question made Angela screech in delight and sent a splash of water over the edge of the sink.

Shelagh reached in front of her husband and soaked up some of the soapy water with a towel. “Really, you two make more of a mess than anything else. You should let me just take care of  the bath, Patrick. Angela would already be in her nightdress, and there’d be no mess.”

Pouring water over the back of the baby’s head, Patrick responded, “No, thank you, Madam Efficiency. This is our time. You go sit and sew or sing or make Tim clean his room or something.”

Knowing Patrick wouldn’t put Angela to bed any more quickly than he bathed her, Shelagh left them to their own devices and went to check on Tim.

Sprawled on his bed reading the latest edition of TinTin, it was hard to believe her son was old enough to have classmates smoking in the lavatory.

“Homework’s packed away? Uniform ready for tomorrow?” she asked.

Tearing his eyes from the page before him, Timothy answered, “Yes. I think I need another jumper, though. That one has a spot on it from lunch.”

“I washed the other one today.” She walked over to the pile of folded clothes still sitting on his desk. “Perhaps it’s here?” Shelagh wondered archly.

Tim smiled sheepishly and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Mum? Thanks for helping tonight. Dad was really mad.”

“Yes, well, to tell you the truth, so was I. But I think you learned an important lesson today.” She placed the clean jumper with tomorrow’s uniform.

“Stay away from Gary,” Tim grimaced.

Shelagh kissed his cheek. “Among other things. Goodnight, dearest.”

“‘Night, Mum.”

Coming out of the bedroom, she met her husband and daughter.

“Clean as a whistle,” Patrick told her. “Now it’s time for a change, snuggle and bedtime. Coming?” he asked, leading the way into the nursery.

“No, you two continue your plotting. I’ll clear up your mess.” Picking up two little feet, she pressed her lips to them. “Good night, Angel Girl.”

A quarter of an hour later, Shelagh was finally finished for the night. The kitchen was clean and tidy, again, and Angela’s bottle was ready  for the two a.m. feeding Patrick was somehow always able to sleep through. Shelagh kicked off her slippers and settled on the sofa.

Tonight had not gone according to her plan. Patrick’s strong reaction to Tim’s story made Shelagh hesitate to open up the subject again. She wasn’t completely certain why her husband had reacted so fiercely. Certainly, Timothy was far too young to be getting into such trouble, but she doubted that Patrick had truly believed his son was smoking in school.

She felt the butterflies from earlier in the evening return. She couldn’t ignore Patrick’s cough, but she did not relish the idea of pushing through her husband’s defenses. He did like to be in control of things. Or at least appear to be in charge.

Patrick came into the room and headed to the mantel. Lighting himself a cigarette, he offered her one.

“No, thank you, dear.” Shelagh hadn’t had a cigarette in weeks. She wondered if he had noticed.

For a moment, he squinted at her in concentration, then his face relaxed, and he took a deep inhale of smoke. “She went down almost immediately. Something about her old dad that calms the little angel right down.”

“More likely he exhausts the poor babe.” Shelagh patted the couch. “Sit with me.”

Patrick gave a nod of his tilted head and moved the ashtray stand closer to the sofa. Shelagh made room for him and cuddled up close when he took his seat.

Sliding her hand around his arm, Shelagh caressed his palm with her thumb. She felt his body relax into hers and sighed. Quiet moments like this were rare lately, and she wished she could enjoy it. Patrick turned his head to hers and placed a kiss against her forehead. She hated to ruin the moment, but they had to make a start.

“Patrick?” Her voice was a bit hesitant. That won’t do, Shelagh, she told herself. Be strong.

“Hmm?” Patrick breathed deeply.

“Do you remember the Carter twins? That birth we attended together?”

With a chuckle, Patrick answered, “I’m not likely to forget that one, am I? Possibly the strangest birth I ever supervised. And,” he smiled at her, “it was pretty special for us, as well.”

“Yes.” Shelagh paused, letting the memories come back.

“You told me a secret for the first time,” Patrick reminisced. His hand tightened over hers. “I think that was when I knew it wasn’t just me. You were feeling something, too.”

Shelagh sighed, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. “I was terrified. I should have stayed with Trixie, to help with the settling in, but I wanted to be near you a bit longer. I told myself it was just friendly feeling, but I knew. I just wasn’t admitting it to myself.”

Patrick looked at the cigarette in his hand. “We shared our first, then.”

There it was. He gave her the opening she needed. Shelagh drew a shaky breath and agreed. “Yes. I felt so bold, then. I wondered what you must think of me: I had just confessed to stealing cigarettes from my father’s drawer, and there I was, smoking in a back alley with you!”

Patrick laughed. “My bold girl.” He stubbed out the remains of his cigarette, then lowered his head to hers, pressing a kiss to her mouth.

Stay strong, Shelagh, she whispered to herself. It would be easier to yield to his unspoken question, to postpone this discussion until later, but that didn’t feel right. It was one thing to try to smooth the way with a nice dinner, and quite another to use the bedroom to get her way.

Slowly, she pulled away. “Patrick?” she swallowed, then charged on. “Why would you say that?”

From the base of her neck, she heard Patrick’s muffled voice. “Say what?”

“Why would you call me a “bold girl” for that?” She pushed gently at his shoulders, bringing his eyes back to hers.

Confused, Patrick sat back. “What are you talking about?”

“In that alley, when I told you I had smoked my father’s cigarettes. I was only fourteen, Patrick.” Here goes, she thought. Jump in with both feet.

Patrick’s eyes shuttered. Shelagh took a shaky breath. “I was only fourteen, but you just called me a bold girl for it.”

“Shelagh-” Patrick’s voice had a warning. Still she pushed on.

“Timothy’s only eleven. You didn’t think it was ‘naughty’ when you believed he might have been smoking.” She held the shaky breath in her lungs.

Patrick brought his arm out from behind her and stared ahead at the electric fire. “It’s completely different, Shelagh. Timothy’s my son. You were…I see what you’re trying to do, Shelagh.”

“I’m not trying to do anything, Patrick. I just want to talk about this.”

Patrick got up and went to the mantel. This time when he started another cigarette, he did not offer her one. The silence grew as he inhaled deeply, his eyes squinting with the effort. After what seemed like hours, he started again.

“Timothy’s a boy. He knows how I -we-expect him to behave. Smoking in the lav, or even hanging around while Gary does, is not going to instill confidence in his judgement.” His voice was even, controlled. Shelagh had the feeling he had slipped behind his GP mask.

Shelagh grew uncomfortable with the strain. Trying to appease him, she asked, “So tonight, at the table, that was because he might have broken the rules? It wasn’t about the cigarette?”

He took another long inhale, gathering his thoughts. “If Tim wants to go to a top school, he’ll need to keep his nose clean. I’ve been telling him he should mind whom he spends time with; Gary’s headed for trouble.

“I’m tired. It’s been a long, day, Shelagh. I’m for a bath, then bed.”  He stepped over to her and pressed a quick kiss on her forehead, then was gone from the room.

Next Chapter

The Paper Anniversay, Chapter 2

(Author’s Note: Apologies for any errors, most especially concerning Tim’s school age. I am assuming that Tim is in his last year of primary school, and about to move up. It wouldn’t be the first-or last-time I’ve been wrong, so if I am, let’s just chalk it up to alternate universe stuff. Thanks for your patience.)

Previous Chapter


Ten years spent living with Sister Monica Joan taught Shelagh that sometimes you couldn’t play fair. She wasn’t manipulating Patrick, precisely, but if she could soften him up a bit, make him more amenable to talk, well then, she would. He had made strides in the area, but discussing personal problems still did not come easily to her husband. Shelagh was hopeful that her steak and kidney pie and a chocolate sponge would smooth the road.

The fates seemed on her side that evening. Despite being in the middle of flu season, Patrick got home early.  At nearly four months, Angela was entering that charming-baby phase and was as delighted with the extra attention from her father as he was with her. Even Tim worked quickly to finish a theme, and helped set the table without being asked. Shelagh smiled, hoping it was a good omen.

Despite the happy mood, Shelagh was nervous. It was one thing to decide to push for a difficult conversation. It was quite another to carry it out. Patrick was trying to open up, but could still shut down when matters became uncomfortable, and Shelagh wasn’t completely certain of her assertiveness.

Timothy became increasingly animated as dinner progressed. His parents shared amused glances as he kept the family entertained with a long tale of the afternoon’s science club meeting. Shelagh and Patrick weren’t entirely sure what happened, but there was something involving a paper maché volcano, vinegar and bi-carb, and an explosion all over the play yard.

Over his second slice of cake Tim announced, a little too brightly, “Gary got caught smoking in the lav during Library time today.”

Shelagh’s fork fell to her plate. She could sense the change in her husband immediately. Drat that Gary. Somehow his mischief  always seemed to seep into other people’s lives. All her hopeful planning went out the window.

Glancing quickly at his wife, Patrick then turned to his son. “Smoking?” he asked, stunned. “He’s eleven!”

“Uh-uh,” Timothy answered, “Gary’s turned twelve. He’s the oldest in the year.” His eyes shifted away from his father.

Suddenly suspicious, Patrick glowered. “Who was with him?”

Timothy didn’t answer.

“Timothy.” Patrick’s voice demanded a response.

“I didn’t do anything. It wasn’t my fault.” Timothy’s eyes pinkened as he glared back at his father defiantly.

With a deliberateness that set Shelagh on the edge of her seat, Patrick placed his fork next to his plate and took a deep breath. Quietly, he asked, “Timothy, who was with Gary when he got caught smoking cigarettes in the lav?”

Timothy swallowed hard, his throat convulsing with the movement. “Jack…and me. But we weren’t-”

Patrick’s hand shot in the air between them, demanding silence. “I’m going to ask you a question, and you may only answer with one word.” He paused and even Angela seemed to hold her breath. “Were you with Gary in the lavatory today while he was smoking?”

“Yes,” Tim answered, his voice very quiet.

Shelagh wanted to step in to shield Timothy from the anger she could feel growing in her husband, but knew this was a time to stay on the sidelines. Patrick could be very stern but was rarely unfair, and another voice would only complicate things.

Patrick pinched his nose, his shoulders tense. “And do you think this was a good idea?”

Timothy had been on the receiving end of enough lectures from his father to sit quietly. “No, sir.”

“Do you know how important this year is at school?” Patrick sat back in his chair.

“Yes, sir.”

“Why is it so important?” Patrick asked calmly. Too calmly, Shelagh thought.

“Because I want to get into a good school. Sir,” he added.

Patrick stood up suddenly and walked out of the room. Timothy’s eyes were wide as he looked to his mother. Shelagh smiled an encouragement she didn’t feel.

Patrick returned, a furious expression on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. Turning, he left the room again, only to return immediately, his hands clenched.

“We have not raised you to lurk in lavs smoking with troublemakers, Tim.” He raised his hand and shook his finger. “What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t do it, Dad! I didn’t! After gym class we all had too much water, so Mrs. Cleary said as we had picked out our books we could go to the lav. There were  only two-” he glanced at his mother, embarrassed, “-you know-  working, and we turned around and there was Gary lighting a cigarette. He didn’t even smoke it, really. But then I reckon it was taking us a bit too long and Mr. Wilder came in to check up on us.”

Tim’s strident voice upset Angela, and she began to whimper. No one spoke as Shelagh stood and took the baby in her arms, soothing her, then moved to hand the baby to her husband. “Shelagh, not now,” Patrick resisted.

Quietly, Shelagh prevailed upon him. “Yes, Patrick. Give me one minute, please.”

Patrick pressed his lips together tightly and took the baby, willing himself to calm down.

“Timothy, dearest,” she turned to the boy, her calm voice soothing the frayed nerves in the room. “Why haven’t we heard from your teacher? Is there a note we should see?”

Perhaps it was the sudden change of mood, but the tears Timothy had been struggling to hold back fell down his cheeks. He shook his head. “No. Honest. I wanted to tell you myself because you always say things will go better if you hear something from me first. Mr. Wilder believed us.” Tim sniffed and glanced at his father.

Before Patrick could respond, Shelagh said, “We do believe you, Timothy. Don’t we, Patrick?” her eyes encouraged her husband to follow her lead. Meeting her look, Patrick nodded.

“You do? You believe me?” Timothy sniffed, trying to stop his tears.

Patrick sighed. Handing the baby back to his wife, he answered. “Timothy, we trust you. But we also know you’re still a child. You’re going to do foolish things.” He sat in his chair and looked his son in the eyes. “You promise you had no idea what Gary was up to?”

Timothy nodded and wiped his face on his sleeve. Patrick hid a grin at the childish gesture.

“All right, then. And do you promise-”

“I’m not going to smoke, Dad,” Timothy interrupted, “I promise. And I’ve told Gary that I won’t play with him anymore. I’m tired of getting into trouble because of him.”

Patrick considered his son for a moment, then nodded his head. He reached over and gently tousled the boy’s hair.

“Dad, don’t!” Timothy moaned, but his smile was wide.

“Well, if you’re done here,” Patrick answered, “you’d better start to clear the table.” The drama over,  he was eager for things to return to normal.

For effect, Tim rolled his eyes. “I suppose I can’t say I’ve still got too much homework?”

“No dice, I’m afraid. You owe your mother.”

Timothy grinned. “Don’t I know it?” Stacking the dessert plates, he moved into the kitchen.

Patrick got up and went to his cigarette case on the mantle. Lighting one up, he said, “Clever use of the baby, sweetheart.”

Shelagh smiled. “We all have a part to play in the family, dearest.”

Next Chapter

The Paper Anniversary, Chapter 1

“C’mon, Ange. I just picked it up,” moaned Timothy Turner. He bent to scoop the toy giraffe from the floor. “Every time I pick it up for her, she drops it again.”

His mother giggled. “So why do you suppose she does it, then?” Shelagh’s eyes danced over the rim of her tea cup. Glancing at the clock she added, “Finish your breakfast, it’s almost time to go.”

Tim picked up his spoon, but Angela had other ideas. With another squeal, she released the giraffe over the side of her high chair, delighted by the thunk it made as it hit the floor.

“Angela!” grumped her brother.

“What is it this time?” Patrick came into the room, kissing his wife good morning. He tilted his head to the side, offering his son a look of some sympathy, while tickling behind the baby’s ear. “My little Angel isn’t throwing food at you again, is she?”

With a pained expression, Tim answered. “No. She keeps dropping my old giraffe to the floor. Every time I pick it up, she drops it again.”

“So why do you suppose she does it, then?” Patrick smiled.

Heaving a sigh of frustration, Timothy looked up to the ceiling. “Do you two practice things like that? It’s really quite irritating.”

“I think it just comes naturally, son.” Patrick’s eyes went to his watch, and he warned, “You’ll be late if you don’t hurry, Tim.

With the air of suffering mastered only by an adolescent, Tim went to retrieve his bag from his room.

“So what’s in store for my two girls today?” Patrick asked, spooning sugar into his tea. He sneaked a look at his wife, busy wiping Angela’s cheeks, and slipped in another spoonful. Patrick Turner liked his tea the way he liked his women, light and sweet.

“It’s Wednesday, Patrick.”

“Oh, right. Washing.” He opened the morning news. “They should set Greenwich by you, love.”

“Patrick,” Shelagh’s voice came around the paper, concerned.

“Hmm?”

“Patrick.” Her voice grew sharper.

He looked up, guilty. He recognized that tone. He better step lively.

“Yes, dear?”

“Your cough sounded quite terrible this morning. It’s been getting worse for weeks.”

“It’s just a cough, Shelagh. I’m around sick people all the time, and I never catch anything. It’ll pass.”

Shelagh pursed her lips, but before she could respond Patrick interrupted. “No, I am not tempting Fate. I’m fine, Shelagh.” He picked up his paper, eager to end the discussion. “You’re fussing,” he teased.

“Who’s Mum fussing over?” Tim asked, returning for his lunch.

“Me,” Patrick said ruefully.

“Good. If she’s fussing over you, she can’t fuss over me.” He dangled the toy giraffe in front of his sister’s eyes, waited for her complete attention, then dropped it to the tray. It became immediately apparent that the darling of the family was more than happy to revisit her favorite game.

“Tim!” cried Patrick at his son’s retreating back. “You did that on purpose!”
A few hours later, Shelagh was up to her elbows in whites. Patrick and Tim were off on their day, and Angela napped in her cot.

The quiet repetition of the laundry appealed to Shelagh. The water, the smell of the soap, even the physical force needed to wring clothes through the mangle,  all helped her clear her mind. Patrick wanted to invest in an electric washer, and she knew the time was near that it would be necessary. Angela’s clothes were only getting larger, and Tim was at an age when he went through clean clothes faster than she could wash them. But for now, she liked the old rituals.

She reviewed the breakfast conversation with Patrick. Obviously, he did not want to talk about that cough, but there was something there that gnawed at Shelagh. She had spent enough time as a nurse, and too much time as a tuberculosis patient to know that was no ordinary sound.

Each morning for much of this winter Patrick rose to a tight, hacking cough. After long moments, the spell would pass, and he would seem his old self. Usually, the cough would not return at all during the day, and it was easy to forget its existence. But there was something in its sound that triggered an alarm in Shelagh.

She had learned enough of herself in these last few years to know that her subconscious had a way of alerting her to a problem. For a long time she ignored that voice, fearful of what she might face. Pretending a problem didn’t exist would only make matters worse.

Tonight they would talk about this.

Next Chapter